"It doesn't lack for spice, darlin'," I said.
"This fucking night…I'm tellin' you," Riley said. There was blood all over his shirt, and his nose appeared newly broken. "I just want to go to sleep but no, I get punched in the goddamn face and swallow a pint of my own fucking blood, and I don't even get to stay on the couch!" He glared back at Shannon and Will, shaking his head.
"Why isn't he in your cottage?" Erin asked under her breath. "And what happened to him? Can we not leave him alone for five minutes?"
I cut a glance at her. "Why don't you ask him that?" I challenged. "Then you can explain to Shannon and Captain America where your panties went."
"Captain America?" she whispered while Riley glowered at Shannon and Will. "You come up with that on your own?"
I shook my head. "Riley."
"Ah," she said knowingly. Riley was the Jedi Master of nicknames. "Maybe you can ask them if they have any condoms."
Will and Shannon were barely clothed. She was wrapped in a short, thin robe that kept catching the wind and flying up, exposing her thighs. He was wearing boxer briefs and a scowl. "We're too late for that," I said. "They've used them all. All the condoms on the Cape."
Riley shifted to face us, equally furious as he was with his older sister. "You really want Matt to blow a gasket on his wedding night? Really? Because that's what would happen if he saw this. I can't even go there with you two. Can't. Even."
"There's no reason to tell Matt," Erin said easily.
"Don't tell Matt? Are fuckin' kidding me, E? You're here one day and you're starting shit like this?" Riley yelled, pointing at me. "No, no.No oneis telling Matt a fucking thing about any of this." He gestured to both his sisters. "We're all pretending none of this happened. We're pretending there's no attention-whoring or hate-fucking going on right now."
"Am I the attention whore or the hate fucker?" Erin whispered.
I held up my hand, trying to walk back some of Riley's frustration. "I think you might be exaggerating the situation, buddy," I said. "Really, we're just having some drinks and hanging out."
"You might be a smart guy, Nick," Riley said, "but right now, you have no idea what you're talking about. And you—" He pointed at Erin. "If you don't want shit storms everywhere you go, don't stir them up."
"Riley," Erin said, and his gaze snapped to her. "I got this."
"You fucking owe me," Riley called as he walked past me and Erin, his head shaking and his hands fisted at his sides. "All of you fucking owe me."
Riley disappeared down the path, and Shannon studied us a beat longer before returning to her cottage with Will in tow.
"That was your fault," Erin said as she choked out an uncomfortable laugh.
"No way," I said. "All on you. You take your panties off, you kiss my neck, your fault."
She wiggled her shoulders, definitely not taking responsibility for anything, and nodded in Riley's direction. "We should wander that way," she said. "He's a big boy, but he'll sleep on the beach if we let him."
"Okay, sure, we can follow him," I started, "but we're not going on a humanitarian mission tonight. We're putting him to bed, getting condoms, and then going back to your room and hanging the Do Not Disturb sign."
"Me? On a humanitarian mission? Unlikely." Erin pointed to herself, and that drew my attention to her breasts. She brought her fingers to my chin, tipping my eyes upward. "That was almost gratuitous, Doctor Acevedo, and I liked it. You can do it again later. After you've refilled your condom supply."
"Understood. Off you go," I said, lifting her from my lap. I tucked myself into my trousers as I gained my footing, and followed as she headed in Riley's direction.
We found him at the far end of the path, his head hanging low and his fingers on his temples.
"What the hell is going on?" I asked. "You have my room key. Why aren't you in there?"
He laced his fingers together at the nape of his neck and blew out an aggravated breath. "I left the key in the goddamn room, and," he said, tipping his head toward me and Erin, "I didn't want to bang on the door get an eyeful of this."
"What happened to you?" Erin asked, gesturing to his face while I dug through my wallet for the other room key.
Riley laughed humorlessly. "I can't even begin to explain it," he said. "No, wait. It's not that complex. I walked in while Captain America wasconspiringwith the Black Widow, and since Batman isn't one of the Avengers, I got tossed out on my ass. Or face, or whatever."
She nudged me, glimpsing to Riley. "Go make sure he's okay."
"I thought this wasn't a humanitarian mission, Skip," I murmured.
