I rolled my eyes. "You said plenty."
"Would you stop bothering my wife?" Nick asked, edging between us. "Who's here? What's going on?"
"That's a great question," Riley said. He stroked his chin. "Shannon's not allowed in the kitchen. She's good with this, but that's not stopping her from lurking. Also, we're not allowed to mention that she's still eating for two. Sam's grumbling about turkey. He'd prefer a salmon-and-asparagus type of Thanksgiving, but he's smart enough to know when he's outnumbered. Speaking of menu complaints, Andy will stab you in the heart if you have a problem with what she's cooking. Apparently, we all had plenty of time to weigh in before this afternoon, and bitching isn't permitted."
I rolled my hand in front of me. "Continue," I said.
"Patrick's playing sous chef, and he's enjoying the hell out of that. Not sure about power exchange dynamics there, but it's fun to watch."
"I don't want to know what Patrick and Andy do in their bedroom," Nick said.
Riley turned to him, smirking. "It's interesting that you went there," he said. "Will is yelling at everyone who tries to get within five feet of Froggie without adequately disinfecting themselves first. He's already threatened to cancel dinner and throw everyone out. Twice."
"Her name is Abby," I said. "Let's call her that."
"Tiel is napping," Riley continued. "Judy's been fussing all over her, and pissing Lauren off with comments about needing more grandchildren. Judy's decided she's stepping in as grandma for Sam and Tiel's kid. She's either the nicest lady in the world, or the master of passive-aggressive moves."
"Are you doing okay?" Nick asked. "With all of…that?"
"Thanks for the reminder that my life is in shambles," Riley muttered. "Helpful. Really fucking helpful."
"Your life isn't in shambles," I said.
"It's not incompleteshambles," Riley said. "Matt just got back from a bike ride along the coast, and—"
"Wait," Nick interrupted. "He went for a ride? He didn't mention that to me."
Riley waved between me and Nick. "That's the price of doing business with the Little Mermaid here. Did you really expect him to call you up, two days after he found out about your new pastime? Please. You're smarter than that."
"Donotuse that nickname on me," I said.
"Oh God," Nick said, clutching his chest. "I love it. You're the Riot Grrrl version of the Little Mermaid. You're the Third Wave feminist Little Mermaid who told the prince to go fuck himself, and then went on to turn the underwater community into conservation activists, aren't you?"
"So you've seen the film," I said. "What's your nickname around here? Hmm?"
"Kristoff," Riley said, snapping his fingers and jabbing a finger at Nick. "I've been thinking about this for a long time, dude, and I'm feeling it now. You're Kristoff."
"Who the hell is Kristoff?" I asked, and at the same time, Nick said, "Jesus, no. NotFrozen. I'd rather be Hawkeye than anyone fromFrozen."
"What's your problem withFrozen?" Riley asked. "It's a delightful movie. I listen to the soundtrack at the gym. You're obviously an Anna guy, but have you seen that dress Elsa wears in her ice palace? Talk about a smoke show."
"So you've seen that film, too," I said, blinking up at Nick.
"We've had a conversation about you and blondes, bro," he said. "Unhealthy. Needs to stop."
"Speaking of Miss Honey," Riley said ruefully, "she and the Commodore are in the laundry room. They're pretending to play with the puppies, but they're eating pie."
"And what are you doing?" I asked. "Other than loitering around the front door."
"I left my phone in my coat pocket. I was coming out here to get it because I want to stream the game while I'm working the bar," he said, gesturing to the highball glass in his hand. "I'm mixing up some kilt-lifters and watching football. Liquor and sports are keeping me distracted and desensitized."
Judy came around the corner, a burp cloth slung over her shoulder and five different styles of pacifier in her hands. "Oh, hello," she called. "The chef tells me we're eating soon. Go on in and get settled." She lifted the pacifiers when a baby's wail sounded from upstairs. "Shannon's getting Abby dressed now, and we're trying these out to see if we can find a nipple she likes."
"I've found two," Nick said under his breath. That earned him an elbow to the belly.
"Wow," Riley murmured after Judy headed toward the staircase. "I had no idea Kristoff would be such a pervert. Think about keeping that under wraps for the next hour or two, okay?"
* * *
