Ass kicking it is.
“I’m going to fucking kill you,” I hissed. I sprang across the table and ripped the phone from Riley’s hands. Switching off the speaker, I stormed out of my office and into a narrow hallway leading to the fire escape before turning my attention to Lauren. “Sorry about that.”
“It’s fine, don’t worry. He’s adorable, in random and bizarre ways.”
Heavy tension lingered between us while I searched for the right response. Our time apart outstripped our time together and I didn’t know how to find my way back to her.
“Hey,” I said. “How are you?”
Silence greeted my question, and I pulled my phone away from my ear to check the signal strength. I wanted to ask her, right then and there, what the hell was going on. I wanted to know why she was blowing me off and why she wouldn’t talk about anything but her project, and I wanted to know which version of Lauren she was showing me now.
I heard doors close and the rustle of wind, and a long exhale. “I know, I know, I owe you so many texts, and I’m so sorry. How’s my building coming?”
Within the span of a few words, she knocked me off course, and I slid down the wall until I hit the hardwood floor. I never wanted to talk about architecture again.
“It’s on track.”
“Just what I wanted to hear. I knew you’d make it happen. I’ve been crazy busy. And I’ve been with all these brilliant people who have started schools and I’m just trying to soak up every bit of brilliance while I can. Oh, and I think I met the perfect candidate for my Dean of Students, and if I can convince him to start next month, I might be able to sleep more than three hours a night.”
“Good. Good, that’s really good. I’m happy you’re getting so much out of it,” I said.
“I am. But I think I’m going to change my flight next week.” I muttered a sound that urged Lauren to go on, but I couldn’t find the words to respond. “Originally I was coming in late Saturday morning, but I’m trying to get out on Friday, be back in town that evening.”
I cleared my throat. “Okay.”
“Would you want to get drinks?”
Drinks.I didn’t know how to interpret that—drinks-sex? Or drinks-drinks, like normal adults who weren’t fucking and rehabbing a button mill together? Or drinks-I’m-letting-you-down-easy?
“Yeah,” I said. “Send me your flight info. I’ll pick you up, if that isn’t too much of an issue for you.”
“Great…?” From the cautious lilt in her voice, it was clear she noticed my clipped tone. “Is everything all right?”
Dozens of harsh answers cycled through my thoughts but they all resembled my drunken ramblings to Erin, and I didn’t want to go there.
“Matthew?”
It didn’t make sense that my name sounded so right in her voice. It should have sounded exactly the same as anyone else who said it, and not loaded with meaning and memory.
“What? Yeah, nothing.” My head landed against the brick wall with a low thunk.
“Really? Okay, well, let me know if anything comes up with my building.”
I swore under my breath when my head knocked against the brick again. “Call me this weekend.”
“Once I land in New Orleans, I’m all over the place—”
“Call. Me. This. Weekend.”
The warm ring of Lauren’s laugh only added confusion to my knotted pile of frustration.
“Okay, Matthew. This weekend. But I really need to go. Some people are waiting for me, and they’ve been so generous with their time already. Bye, for now.”
The floor seemed like a safer choice than going back into my office. It was ground zero, filled with memories of Lauren sitting across from me in that red dress while I tried to conceal my erection and burgeoning fascination with her, or the way she melted into me when we thought we were alone. I folded my arms over my bent knees, staring at my phone’s black screen.
My office was no comparison to the torture of my loft. Lauren’s scent lingered on my sheets and pillows, and the solitary strands of golden blonde hair I found clinging to my clothes and furniture and pillows were mean little tokens from the nights we shared.
I craved her and I missed her, and I was annoyed at myself on both counts. I didn’t let women rattle my thoughts, disturb my sleep, or invade my life.
