Yet . . . there were moments when I couldn’t climb past my doubt. Glances that lasted a beat too long. Kisses that spoke of more than drunken affection. Lingering touches that screamed “I will fuck you so hard you won’t remember your first name.”
And it was that doubt that kept me clinging to the threads he offered. I understood enough about Sam to know he didn’t have romantic relationships; he didn’t even do a full night with one woman. Asking him for more or giving him an ultimatum would freeze out friendship. While I wasn’t content with the friend zone, I wasn’t willing to lose it either. I’d survive on boob-gazing, casual kisses, and as much touching as I could get away with.
And flirty texts.
17:08 Sam:what the fuck are you wearing?
17:08 Sam:just . . . fuck
17:09 Tiel:yeah, I know, I probably have too many bracelets for you or this color is too bright or whatever. I don’t want to hear your complaints. I like this.
17:09 Sam:I was not looking at the bracelets.
17:09 Tiel:ok. . . . ?
17:10 Sam:you are fucking gorgeous
17:10 Sam:this picture is going to get a substantial amount of use
17:10 Sam:are you alone right now? I’d like to discuss this
The empty desks surrounding mine were piled with books and papers, and boxes filled with yet more books and papers. My officemates and I saw each other in fly-by moments, and sometimes not at all.
The door was open, and the photocopier in the outer office was cranking a big order, but otherwise the floor was quiet. Most day classes ended by four thirty, and evening sessions didn’t start until six. There was another half hour of solitude.
17:11 Tiel:yes
17:11 Sam:do I have your full attention?
17:12 Tiel:don’t you always?
17:12 Sam:definitely not but I’m going to tell you a story anyway
17:12 Sam:Here’s what I’d do with you: I’d move the dress off your shoulders, pull it down, and suck your nipples
17:13 Sam:and when they were wet and hard, I’d bite them
17:13 Sam:then I’d slide my cock between your tits, hold them tight around me while I fucked you
17:14 Sam:and I’d watch my cock hit your neck and your chin and your mouth
17:14 Sam:and I’d come on your tits, shooting all over those hot nipples
I stared at the screen, my eyes widening with each message. Anticipation was rising in my body, and I felt it each time I squeezed my thighs together and heaved a hungry sigh. I could imagine the look of concentration that would settle on Sam’s face while he fucked my breasts. The way he’d focus on executing perfect, precise movements. How he’d deliver equal amounts of his orgasm to each breast.
It looked so good in my head, but . . . I didn’t want the performance. The filthy meticulousness of it all. I wanted him chaotic and wild and too fucking lost in the moment to remember whether he was coming on my nipples or my mouth or everywhere because the only things that mattered were the lightning we created and him marking me in some indelible way.
And I didn’t want the version he shared with anyone before or anyone after.
17:15 Tiel:um, ok perv.
“Tiel.”
“What?” My head jerked up, and a blush colored my cheeks when my eyes landed on my colleague, Kyle Milhouse. I was flustered and marginally embarrassed that I’d been having this exchange at work, and concerned that my face was painted with I’ve-been-naughty guilt. The only person I’d ever sent dirty texts to was Ellie, and those were all dick jokes.
“Hi,” I said, too loud, too bright, too peppy. “What can I do for you?”
He leaned against the filing cabinet, one ankle crossed over the other. Kyle was an assistant professor in the music therapy department, and had extensive experience in private and clinical settings, although much of his work was with adults. He was smart and could quote more research off the top of his head than seemed healthy, but he was as boring as a box of paper clips. “One of my students came across an interesting case, and you were my first thought.”
