"Shannon." I edged forward, into her line of sight. "Stop it. Do not handle me. Do not spin this conversation. If you have a problem that you need to get off your chest, you need to get it out or get over it right now."
She went back to staring at her fingers, and minutes passed without any indication she'd heard me.
"That's not it," she finally said. "Not at all. I know it's selfish, and I'm sorry, but…I wish you'd called me. I wish you'd told me as soon as it happened. I wish you'd asked me to go ring shopping with you."
I swallowed a sigh and sat back in the seat. The first thing I thought when I saw that ring was that I wanted it for Tiel. The second thought was along the lines of "Oh holy fuck, I want to marry this girl." The third thought was deep, organ-twisting regret that Shannon wasn't there with me. We'd always been close, and done everything together, but right now we were miles apart.
"I didn't exactly plan it out. I didn't intentionally exclude you. And yesterday, well, we got a little carried away."
"I'm happy for you and Tiel. Really. Now when can we get together to celebrate? I'll bring the champagne," she said.
"Soon, but…" I started, "I love you. You know that."
Shannon jerked a shoulder up in agreement, and gestured for me to continue. She wanted this discussion over, and she wanted to move on to tasks and projects where she didn't have to deal with whichever gray area was dragging her down.
"But that doesn't mean you can adopt our wedding as your new pet project," I said.
I had to rip the bandage, the same way she'd ripped it for me in the past. It was going to hurt, and she was going to hate me, but I had to snap Shannon out of this fogandshield Tiel from Shannon's war-general brand of event planning.
"You hijacked Matt and Lauren's wedding, but they were too busy to care," I said, laughing.
Shannon's glare was a clear indication that she found no humor in this statement.
"We want to do this our own way. Tiel will reach out to you, I can guarantee that, but she'll do it on her time. She adores you, and I really appreciate how you've given her as much time as she needed to warm up to you, and everyone else. But that doesn't mean you can smother her now."
Her eyebrows knit together, and she pursed her lips for a long pause before responding. "I wasn't trying to hijack anything. It's your day, and I just wanted to help with—"
"Give Tiel some space," I pleaded. She'd been working on a relationship with Shannon since the summer, but wedding planning resided in a much higher weight class than weeknight drinks and pedicures. "If she wants your opinion on these things, she'll ask. Until then, I need you to take an enormous step back."
Her bottom lip quivered for a moment before she snared it between her teeth, and she nodded, the fight abandoning her. She wasn't stepping up for this confrontation.
"Of course, Sam. Whatever you need. If there's anything at all that I can do for either of you, just let me know."
"You saidwhatto Shannon?" Tiel cried.
"I told her to back off," I said as I wiped my hands on a kitchen towel. "What's wrong with that?"
Tiel shook her head and muttered at the pot on the stove. "Okay, let's see. Where should I start? How about your sister already thinks I'm an enormous bitch? Or that I have to plan out what I'll say to her before I see her so that I don't have a fit of word vomit? Or that she's going through a rough patch? Or that I've spent, hmm…" She held up her fingers as she ticked off the months. "May, June, July, August, September, October, and November. Yep, that's seven months. I've spent seven months trying to make friends with your sister, and Andy and Lauren, too, and then you kill it all in one morning."
"She needed to hear it," I said.
Tiel leaned against the countertop, groaning. "In summary, the only people excited to hear that we're engaged are Riley and Ellie. Outstanding."
She crossed her arms over her chest, her fingertips tapping out a beat on her elbow. I let the music in her mind take over rather than inquiring further into her best friend's reaction. I'd texted Ellie a picture of the ring and asked for her blessing last week. It made perfect sense to me. She was Tiel's only true guardian, and if there was anyone I needed on my side, it was Miz Ellie Tsai.
She'd sent me a link to a music video—'Everlasting Light' by The Black Keys'—and I'd interpreted that as her stamp of approval.
Tiel started pacing around the kitchen, keeping her hands busy by sorting mail and drying dishes. She wasn't one to sit still for long. "Did you talk to Erin?"
I studied the grill pan for a long moment before turning to meet her eyes. My youngest sibling didn't do phone calls, ever. Her lifestyle could also be fairly encapsulated as "professional backpacking through Europe."
"I emailed her. I haven't heard back yet, but that's not unusual for her."
Tiel sighed into the refrigerator as she reached for the wine. She'd departed from her preference for craft beers, and somewhere in recent months adopted a taste for Riesling and pinot grigio, but calling that out didn't figure into the complete and total honesty agreement we'd enacted.
We'd scheduled time for a Serious Conversation one weekend in July, and set the stakes high: no sex until the big topics were suitably addressed. All of the cards were on the table, and we talked through everything from my father's unrepentantly awful stamp on me and my siblings to her trust and abandonment issues to all of the small things that drove us crazy. There was a lot of baggage to process—we maintained a running joke that neither of us packed light—and none of these topics made for easy conversation. It was akin to passing through airport security, with your belongings moving through an X-ray machine, your body open for intimate inspection, and your pants seconds from falling down.
But we'd survived, and before sunset that Sunday, I was buried inside her.
