"I believe it was some kind of prank, and she got arrested," I said. "Erin brought the high school baseball team with her, and they took out the entire pyramid of cannonballs. They relocated it to a rival team's field. Home plate, to be exact. They all got arrested, and it was a big deal because the players were disqualified from a state championship game. It was in the news, and…it was a big deal."
Tiel was silent for a beat, her arched eyebrow conveying all of her incredulousness. "Okay. That sounds like a well-executed senior prank with some unfortunate consequences, not the grounds for a years-long cold shoulder. Shannon's tough but she's not ridiculous. And you don't have to share this with me if you don't want to, but you're either not telling me the whole story or you don't know the whole story. Which one is it?"
Too damn perceptive, my fiancée.
"Shannon sorted out the legal shit but basically locked Erin's ass down, and then…things declined pretty quickly."
I paused, not wanting to continue with this topic. A part of me believed that Shannon and Erin would stop what they were doing, wherever they were, and call to rip me a new one because they sensed this topic was afoot and I knew better than to air their dirty laundry, even to my future wife.
"We are climbing all the way up the trust tree right now, Sunshine."
"And in the trust tree we shall stay," she said.
A frustrated grunt rattled in my throat. "The cannonball was the tipping point," I said. "Shannon was really worried about Erin. She was always pushing her to see a therapist, and—"
"Wait, go back," Tiel interrupted. "Why was she worried? Start from the beginning."
I supposed this was reciprocity. I'd seen all of Tiel's family baggage this weekend, and now she was seeing mine.
"My father took out a considerable amount of anger on Erin," I said, and I was aching for the day when those memories didn't turn my stomach. "He hit anyone who crossed his path, but he aimed for Erin as often as possible. The things he did to her…fuck. I don't want to think about it."
"I'm sorry. I didn't realize this was such a thorny topic for you. I shouldn't have pushed." Tiel set her cup in the center console and grabbed my free hand. "We don't have to talk about it."
I'd often heard that it was best to get these things out in the open, to discuss and grieve and process, but fuck if that wasn't the worst idea in the world. As far as my siblings and I were concerned, talking about the heinous shit we survived under Angus was a destination of last resort, but that didn't mean we weren't dealing with it in our own ways. Matt and Patrick exorcised their issues by pounding the pavement, Riley solved all his problems with weed, Shannon was a big proponent of therapy, Erin pulled crazy stunts, and I went on months-long sabbaticals to the wilderness.
No single approach was right, and none were completely wrong, either.
We didn't come together to compare war stories, and not because we wanted to keep secrets or sweep these horrors under the rug. Some monsters were better left in the closet.
"It's fine," I said eventually. "When Patrick and Shannon finally got Erin out of my father's house, she was not okay."
"But Erin didn't want help?"
"Oh, hell no," I said, laughing. "You can't tell her anything. She does what she wants, and God help you if you get in her way. If you think Shannon is strong-willed, Erin is doubly so."
Tiel laughed into her coffee cup. "How is that even possible?"
"Erin is the vodka-Red Bull to Shannon's whiskey-rocks." I shrugged, not sure there was a better way to describe their fundamental similarities but wild differences. "Shannon became Erin's custodial guardian, and Erin lived with her for about two years. Those were twolongyears. It was like Erin wanted to see how much she could push Shannon, and it turned out that she could push really fucking hard."
I hated thinking about that time. I was away at Cornell, trying to reinvent myself, and Shannon was back in Boston, trying to save the world. A piece of her died inside those two years, and another piece died when Erin left.
"There was the cannonball incident, and Shannon went hard at the counseling angle after that," I said. "And then it gotreallybad." I grated my fingers against my chin scruff until I was ready to continue. "It got really bad, and then it got worse, and then…everything fell apart. Erin fell apart."
"Oh, God," Tiel murmured. "Is she okay? Now?"
"I think so, but Erin works hard at keeping a lid on things. As far as I know, she hasn't discussed this with anyone since she picked up and left Shannon's apartment a month or two before her high school graduation." I scratched my jaw again. "Things happened between them that you can't erase."
I still remembered Shannon's call that day, every word of it. She was terrified that she'd made the wrong decision, but even more terrified that it had been right.
"She hasn't spoken to Shannon since. It's going to be nine years this spring."
"Whoa," Tiel said. "I'm not sure what I expected, but it wasnotthis. Where did she go when she moved out?"
"In with Matt," I said. "Erin stayed with him until she left for college, and he's the only one she consistently talks to."
Tiel was silent for the next three miles, then said, "That was one hell of a cannonball."
6
