Will:Sigh.
Will:When my parents retired, they decided to travel. National parks and all that shit. No surprise to anyone, my mother was bored off her ass within 15 minutes.
Will:She was a navy medic, served in Kuwait, nurse on base until a few years ago. You get the picture. Always busy.
Will:She figures we all need to share in these travels, and starts taking an actual fuck ton of pictures. Lo introduces her to a blogging site. Instead of emailing the fuck ton, she’s posting it.
Will:Joke’s on us because people like this shit. She’s got paid advertisements and product placement now, and a “super huge IG following” but she guilts the fuck out of us if we don’t read and tell her how great it is, and believe me, it’s actually really fucking awesome and I’m happy for her
Will:But holy fuck, who can keep up with all those posts?
Shannon:Do you even have any social media accounts?
Will:No. that shit’s terrible for opsec
Shannon:For what?
Will:Operational security. It’s not smart to publicize where I am or what I’m doing.
Shannon:Right. ok.
*
Shannon:So I read the blog. Entire hours of my day—gone.
Shannon:Your mom is adorable. I knew she was when I met her at the wedding, but she is too fucking adorable for life.
Shannon:She has all these sassy things to say and there are all these little inside jokes. And her photos are amazing
Shannon:I love how she refers to your dad as the Commodore
Will:That’s no term of endearment. That’s what he wants to be called.
Will:Like that episode of Seinfeld, with The Maestro
Shannon:Even better!
Will:Did you notice Sailor 1 and Sailor 2? We don’t come up much
Shannon:And why would you? It’s not like you read the blog
Will:Watch it, peanut.
Shannon:It’s just so adorable! She refers to Matt and Lauren as Mr. and Mrs. Honey. Too much cuteness.
Will:Yeah she’s pretty great
Will:She’d like you.
Shannon:Yeah?
Will:Totally. She loves stone cold bitches with hearts of gold.
*
Shannon:Invade any sovereign nations today?
Will:Why are you awake right now? It’s the middle of the night
