Will:You have a list of your brothers’ suit measurements. I found it when I was looking for paper clips in the kitchen
Shannon:Correct and paper clips are in the cabinet in the den
Will:Already found them but WHY do you have their suit measurements?
Shannon:It goes back to the great dispute over dry-cleaned trousers
Will:omfg. These guys
Will:There’s even a note about which side they dress, for fuck’s sake
Will:That’s the line. Right there. That’s threshold between being involved and being fucking insane
Shannon:You might feel differently if I ordered you some suits.
Will:No
Shannon:Actually, I can call my gal at Neiman Marcus and have her pull some for you to try.
Will:No
Shannon:Why not? I like you all fancy pants. I love you all always but I’m very fond of you in a suit.
Shannon:You were hot as fuck at Gus and Aviva’s wedding, and Lauren’s too. You might recall getting laid after both of those suit-wearing events
Will:There are a lot of things I’ll roll with. I’ll let you pick which movie we’re seeing. I’ll make you come first. I’ll let you leave the house in those Come Fuck Me heels and sexy skirts because I know everyone else can look but only I touch. I’ll rub your belly when you have cramps.
Will:I’ll be your protection detail when you go out drinking with the girls and get rowdy. I’ll lick any part of you anytime you want. I’ll keep my mouth shut when you work insane hours and come home half-asleep and growling. I’ll let you dress me in a motherfucking tutu and take me to ballet class.
Will:But you know what I’m not doing?
Will:I’m not letting you give me the Black Widow treatment. You don’t have to project manage me, peanut.
Shannon:What if I want to? Have you considered that?
Shannon:Taking care of people is how I show my love.
Will:I don’t think you understand how much of that you do before you even start on the dry-cleaning.
Will:And I’m going to buy my own fucking pants because I’m the one who takes care of you
Will:And before you tell me you don’t need anyone taking care of you– I love you. Deal with it.
Shannon:Shut up.
Shannon:I love you too.
Shannon:Can I come with you when you’re buying your own fucking pants?
Will:Maybe
Shannon:I’d like to get you alone in a dressing room
Will:I’m listening.
*
Shannon:Something weird is going on
