Emrys appeared beside Florie and shook his head. “And so, it begins.”
Florie stared at him in confusion. “What do ye mean?And so, it begins?”
“Caelan’s full descent into madness.” Emrys started down the stairwell, Maizy and Sam slowly padding along behind him. “Until Rachel returns to bear the children and chooses to either stay with him or return to the Goddess, he will no longer be sane. I saw it once before with his great grandsire. The entire clan nearly died from it. Hopefully, we will survive it this time as well.”
Rachel mindlessly slidthe silky leaf between her fingertips as she stared across the undulating sea of waving grasses. There were no seasons here. It was never too hot, never too cold, and whether it rained or shined depended on the mood of the Goddess herself.
Today, the sky was the brightest azure blue, with white clouds skimming across the tips of the grasses. As Rachel sat on the stone bench stroking her stomach, she could feel her sons tumbling and rolling and wondered how much longer her womb could contain them.
“Soon, it will be time for ye to return and make your choice, Rachel.”
A sense of calm swept through Rachel’s entire being, her intuitive signal that she was being graced with a visit from the Goddess Brid herself. She dropped her gaze to her feet or at least to where she thought her feet still were, bowing her head as she folded her hands atop her rounded belly. “I know. I just haven't figured out how I’m going to bring my babies into the world, raise them for a little while, and then send them back into that chaos. And how will I face Caelan again after being gone? I’m not sure he understood why I left.”
“All Caelan understands is his pain and his loss. I have watched him closely since ye came to me, and he does not fare well.” Brid gently smoothed Rachel’s hair away from her face, her cool soothing touch pausing on Rachel’s cheek. “The MacKay line holds a special place in my heart, for theirs is a line capable of great passion and love. They are also capable of reincarnating through many lifetimes. There are those who would say they are some of the few mortals whose love could last an eternity—whatever an eternity might be.” The Goddess pulled her fiery red tresses over one shoulder as she spoke. She worried with the end of her braid as her deep green eyes gazed off into the distance.
“I never wanted him to suffer,” Rachel whispered, her heart breaking at the thought of his misery. “I only wanted what was best for him. For his clan. They were afraid of me. I’ll never fit in there.” A sense of uneasiness took hold of her and made her shift on the bench.
“Ye may continue to take sanctuary here once your bairns are safely delivered on one condition,” the Goddess said. “Ye must be honest with Caelan, and ye must be honest with yourself.” Brid allowed her hands to flutter through the flowing gossamer of her gown that swirled around her glorious form. As she meandered about the small clearing, it was as though a pulsating life force emanated from her. The vines and flowers responded, bursting with color and fresh growth.
“I left because—” Rachel started to say.
“Think well and deep before ye finish that sentence, my child,” Brid advised, her tone firm but gentle. It was as though time stood still.
Rachel caught her bottom lip between her teeth as the Goddess interrupted the excuse she’d repeated to herself over and over until she’d convinced herself that she’d done the honorable thing and not taken the coward’s way out. “I didn’t fit in back there,” she quietly admitted, the emotions crashing across her like a tidal wave. “And I’m still afraid Caelan will die young and leave me all alone. Medieval Scotland terrifies me. I just want to go back to Kentucky. I miss home. Miss what I'm used to.” Rachel dropped her face into her hands and sobbed. “I’m such a freaking coward. I’m so ashamed.”
“Shh…now. Dinna cry, my child. Truth is always better. Dry your tears, now. They’ll make the bairns get colic.” Brid rested one hand on Rachel’s head and gently waved at the sky with the other. At this signal from its mistress, the sun went down, the full moon rose, and a soothing evening breeze teased through the leaves in the trees.
“Ye canna return to Kentucky. That part of your life is past.” Taking both of Rachel’s hands in hers, Brid gently pulled Rachel to her feet. “Walk with me, child. Breathe deeply. Ye must join your heart, mind, and soul in this decision.” Brid gently guided Rachel through the clearing, her voice as calming as the evening breeze. “Ye canna return to Kentucky. To do so would upset the balance of time and space because Caelan is of the past, and you are of the future, and your precious wee bairns were created when the two of you bonded in the dream plane—the verra first time ye loved.”
Brid's reddish eyebrows drew together over her fiercely green eyes as she gazed up into the brilliant white light of the full moon. “Ye have never fit in or been wanted in all of your life, andyet now, ye have the chance to be loved more than ye have ever been loved in this existence, and ye shy away from it out of fear that once ye embrace it and accept it fully, it will only be ripped away from ye.”
The Goddess suddenly gripped Rachel by her shoulders and stood staring down at her, her regal nose mere inches from Rachel’s. “Ye are no longer a child, Rachel. Your parents are dead and can no longer torment ye by giving ye your fondest desires, then yanking them away again just to see ye cry and tell ye that ye lost them because ye were not worthy. Ye were treated cruelly. But that is over now. Which would ye rather, lass? One wondrous moment in your life? Or an eternity of safe nothings? Ye must learn to embrace life. When this life is done, ye will be given another. Your soul is immortal and capable of wondrous things.”
Her thumb smoothed a tear from Rachel’s cheek. Brid frowned; her eyebrows still knotted. “I have said too much. Please forgive me, child.”
Suddenly, they stood in a bright, airy room with gauze linens blowing in the moonlit breeze. An inviting bed waited between the many rows of tall windows overlooking the shimmering waters of the silvery lake below. “Rest now, child. Sleep the unburdened sleep of one who finally knows her heart and her fears. When ye awaken ye will find the answer ye seek.”
After kissing Rachel lightly on the forehead, the Goddess led her to the bed and helped her ease her unbalanced self into the over-stuffed mattress and pillows.
“I realize my fears, Goddess,” Rachel whispered, finding herself becoming eerily calm, “but I still don’t understand what I need to do. Or if I have the courage. What if—?” Rachel clenched the sheets to her chest, biting her lower lip as her eyes overflowed with more tears.
“Hush now. Not another word.” With a light touch to Rachel’s forehead, Brid silenced the fretting and gently trailed her lavender scented fingertips down Rachel’s face. “Sleep now. Not to dream, but to rest—for ye know your heart, ye know your fears, ye know your past, and ye have shed your tears. When ye awake, ye will make your choice. If I have my way, we will all rejoice.”
When the Goddess removed her hands, she smiled at Rachel’s even breathing and bent to tuck the sheets closer around her. “Let your mother rest, lads. Three mortal weeks she will sleep, and then ye shall see your father as well. Now be still with ye.”
As soon as Brid admonished them, the restless babes in Rachel’s womb ceased their incessant wrestling and poking for a better position. Their motions smoothed to what seemed to be a more agreeable, cooperative effort instead of the constant fighting for position.
“Better but ye could give her a bit of rest. The three of ye are going to be history makers. I nay had the heart to tell the lass about that while she’s having such a time deciding to return to your father.”
Moving away from the bed, Brid idly glanced around the room, darkening it to a soothing, low, blue light with a subtle tip of her head. As she closed the door, she motioned to a passing moon sprite.
“Elera, please see that Rachel’s sleep is undisturbed. When she awakens it will be time for the babes to come into the world.”
Nodding her silvery head, Elera smiled as the hallway filled with moonbeams. “I shall see to it gladly, my goddess.”
CHAPTER 19
Another blast of frigid air howled through the great hall, making the roaring fires in every hearth as useless as sparks on the edges of damp tinder. Members of the clan clustered on the benches beside the long tables gathered their fur mantles and plaids closer around their shoulders while shaking their heads in dismay.
