“I am fine.” Her mouth returned to its thin, hard line, and the way the muscles rippled in her cheek revealed she clenched her teeth.
“Rachel—”
“I said I am fine,” she snapped, her eyes flashing in the moonlight. “Why wouldn’t I be? I’ve just received a life sentence with no hope for parole. What do you want from me, Caelan? I’m cursed to spend the rest of my life witnessing the people I cherish more than life itself suffer with things I could’ve prevented, and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it. Forgive me if I’m not belching butterflies, prancing like a unicorn, or shitting rainbows!”
Before he could counter that outburst, she started in again. “It doesn’t matter that I might not even survive the birth of my children. What matters is that I’ll have to see them suffer with something that could’ve been avoided.” She pulled in a deep breath and walked faster. “And what about Scotland’s bloody history? How long can I even hope for you to survive before you leave me widowed? And if our babies live to adulthood, it’ll only be so they can be hacked to death in some war too.” A heart-wrenching sob escaped her as she kicked a rock out of her path.
She shot a fiery glower at Emrys. “What did I ever do to make the Fates want to punish me like this? Or am I just a toy to amuse them when they’re bored? Tell me that, Emrys? Tell me!”
The old druid opened his mouth to respond, and she cut him off.
“Never mind! I don’t need any of your sanctimonious, holier-than-thou speeches. Spare me!”
Sam tugged on her pant leg and whined.
Thank the Goddess for the dog, Caelan thought, fearing to nettle his lovely wee bear any further.
She bent, picked up her loyal companion, and cradled him to her chest. The pup whined again while licking her face as though assuring her everything would be okay.
“I’ll carry you a bit, Sam,” she said, her fury gone, and defeat making her shoulders sag. “I know you must be getting tired.”
“Scotland is beautiful, Rachel. Especially this late in the summer.” Caelan braced himself for another rant. Perhaps if the lass got it all out of her system, she would feel better for it.
“I’m sure it is,” she agreed in a dull, dead tone that worried him even more than her fury. She nuzzled her face against Sam’s furry neck, as though the dog were her only reason for living.
Caelan ambled along beside her, wishing she would let him in, let him help her. Even though they had only been in the past a little while, she had already used her fears to build a wall between them. He saw it as plainly as if she erected it of stone, and he understood her fears. Hadn’t he planned to leave her and the wee ones behind for their safety and wellbeing? But now that she was here, they needed to draw closer to one another, not far apart. Together, they could strengthen each other. Isolated, they would surely lose all hope.
She needed to realize that there were no guarantees in life, no matter what era in which you lived. He understood that now and was grateful that she was with him, here at his side, in his homeland. Together, they could withstand whatever life gave them.
Hope filled him. As soon as the winds had died down from the portal, he had realized they were once again on Alba’s blessed soil. When he had touched Rachel’s hand, he’d sensed not only the beating of her heart but the beating of his three sons’ wee strong hearts as well, and they all beat in time with his own. That’s when he knew her spell hadn’t gone wrong at allbut, in fact, had gone perfectly right. It was up to him now to convince her of that small matter as well.
He reached for Sam. “Here. Let me carry the wee pup. Ye are weariness itself, and we’ve yet a ways to go before we reach the keep.”
The dog flattened his ears, bared his teeth, and growled.
“I need to hold him right now, Caelan, and he knows it.” She stared at the ground and kept walking, lightly stroking the head of the tiny protector in her arms.
Emrys caught up with Caelan and tugged him aside while whispering, “Ye’re going to have to start all over again with the lass. Go with care, aye?”
“I fear it will be more difficult this time,” Caelan whispered back. “She’s terrified and has decided all of us are going to die and leave her here alone.” He watched her mindless plodding, her not looking at the beautiful, rugged hills, or even noticing the ancient burial cairns off to the side of the path. It hurt his heart for her to be so defeated. She had longed to travel to Scotland and see all these things, and yet, she walked blindly past them all.
“Can ye guarantee her ye will never leave her alone?” Emrys asked after a hesitant glance at Rachel. “I caught her researching Scotland’s history on that computer of hers, and the things she read aloud to me curdled my gut and chilled my old bones.”
“Why would anyone want to live forever, old one?” Caelan cast Emrys a sideways glance, his jaw locked defensively.
“Spoken like a true warrior, but ye must think about what the wife of that warrior feels or the mother of that warrior’s sons. Rachel was not raised to be a warrior’s wife or to raise a warrior’s sons. She takes no pride in sending her children to battle. She wants them safe and alive to a ripe old age.”
“Both of you need to just shut up,” Rachel said without looking at either of them. “I’ve lost all hope—not my hearing.”
Caelan shoved the old man aside and shook a finger at him in a demand for silence. He stared at the woman he loved, trying to understand what was going through her mind. With a slow shake of his head, he swore an oath to himself. He and Rachel would be happy once again. He had not come this far just to lose his heartmate.
As dawn brokeover the horizon, they topped the last hill that had shielded Castle MacKay from view. Rachel rubbed Sam’s ears while staring across the meadow at the large foreboding keep. How in heaven’s name would she ever adapt to this time?
Built on top of a cliff facing the sea, it was obvious the fortress had been planned out carefully to protect its clan against any intruders. The front entrance was only accessible by a long bridge built over a deep ravine. It reminded her of the pictures she had seen of Dunnottar.
With her eyes shaded with her hand, she barely made out the tiny figures walking along the top of the outermost wall. Torches flickered in the duskiness of the early hour as the inhabitants of Castle MacKay greeted the coming day.
She could feel Caelan’s pride and excitement as he stood beside her.
