Caelan swallowed hard, struggling to control the raging tempest within him and do what needed to be done for the safety of her and the bairns. “What do ye mean, Rachel?” He caught her arm. “Look at me, love. Tell me.”
She kept her head bowed, refusing to meet his gaze. “I’m sorry I wasn’t more careful. Please understand that I didn’t mean for this to happen, and I’m sorry I made you so unhappy with the news I hit you with yesterday. But I already love these babies, and if you don’t want them, I’ll figure out a way to raise them on my own.”
He rose in the bed, took her by the shoulders, and turned her to face him. “Why would ye think I'd nay want our babies?” He worked his mouth, swallowing hard as he tried to choose the proper words. “I know I reacted badly, and I am sorry. It was only because I love ye so, and the danger of bringing three bairns into this world terrifies me.” He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head, then added in a rasping whisper, “And I fear nothing, my love. Not like I fear losing ye and the wee ones.”
She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. “I’m afraid too,” she whispered, “but it’s too late to worry about that now, I guess. Caelan—I am so sorry.”
“Stop telling me ye’re sorry, my precious lass.” He tilted her face up to his and gave her the tenderest of kisses. “Ye’ve done no wrong, and everything will be all right. I promise ye.” A sense of dread and dark mourning tightened like a band around his chest as he remembered his instructions to Emrys. But there wasno turning back or weakening and changing his mind. To the devil with that because if he was selfish, Rachel and the bairns might very well die—in fact, there was more than a slight chance that they would. Somehow, he had to put her at ease, at least, until time for them to part. He pressed his forehead to hers. “Everything will be right as rain, my own. I swear it.”
“I want the truth.What is going on with Caelan? I know he keeps nothing from you.” Rachel stood behind Emrys, determined to get an answer out of the stubborn old man. Something was going on, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. Caelan hadn’t been the same ever since she told him about the babies. At first, she’d thought it was because he struggled with the idea of his pending fatherhood. But no, the longer his odd behavior went on, the more she sensed something else stirred inside her hard-headed Highlander’s heart.
Emrys stared up at the sky for a long moment before slowly turning to face her. “Ye ken he loves ye, lass, and already loves his sons. Ye’ve no idea of the bond between a Highlander and his family. I promise ye he is not disappointed that ye’ve opened your womb to him. He’s but worried about your health and the safety of the bairns.”
Rachel narrowed her eyes and studied the old druid, tilting her head to one side and reaching out to him with her senses. The ability to read minds would be so helpful right now, but unfortunately, she didn’t possess that gift. Emrys held something back—but what?
“I’m worried too,” she admitted. “I’ve read how many women and babies died during childbirth back in your time. But what am I supposed to do?” Maybe she could trick the sly old goatinto telling her whatever gnawed away at him. She had to find Granny’s spell book. Surely, there was a way to keep Caelan and Emrys in this century. Break that strange MacKay curse and bind them to this time to prevent them from being pulled back into the past.
Emrys lifted his chin, twitched his whiskers, and narrowed his eyes at her. “What are ye up to, lass? The hairs on the back of me neck are standing on end, and that only occurs when the cosmic energies are about to be disturbed.”
“I’m not up to anything. I’m just worried about Caelan.”
“Trust him,” the old druid advised. “Caelan will always keep ye safe, and ye must always keep in mind how much the lad loves ye.”
A heavy sigh escaped her as she realized she would not get a straight answer out of the seer. Her instincts nudged her deep in her bones. Whatever was going on, whatever the truth was, he wasn’t about to tell her. “I love him, Emrys, and I just hope he’ll always keep that in mind as well.”
Emrys frowned and narrowed his eyes even more, then slowly shook his head and ambled out of the room.
“Tell me about your castle.Is it as drafty and cold as the pictures look?” Rachel idly tickled a finger through the hair on his chest as rain pattered against the windows.
One hand propped behind his head, the other cupping the irresistible nakedness of her bum, Caelan nuzzled his cheek against the top of her head, committing the moment to memory, memorizing every sensation to treasure all the rest of his days. “Aye, they can be wicked cold and drafty at times, but we keep the fires roaring in the hearths, and the tapestries over thewindows help keep the north winds out when they decide to blow. Castle MacKay is one of the best in all the Highlands for keeping the bitter cold at bay.”
He swallowed hard and closed his eyes, praying for the strength to keep the farce going for just a few more days. So far, he and Emrys both had acted as though they were helping Rachel to prepare to come with them to Scotland in 1379.
“I know there won’t be a Thanksgiving, but I guess there will be a…what do you call it…Yuletide? You’re going to have to guide me with the customs of your time. By the way, how are you and Emrys going to explain my appearance? Neither of you has ever told me what I’m supposed to say about that. Won’t your people find it odd when I just show up? I'll sound strange with my American accent.”
Suddenly, she rolled off the bed and bolted for the bathroom. She slammed the door behind her, but Caelan heard her retching. He cringed for her suffering and prayed at least that part of it would end before he and Emrys left her. Goddess forgive him for putting the lass through such hell. He covered his eyes and clenched his teeth to keep from groaning with his guilt and sorrow.
“I had hoped by now that I’d stop this foolishness,” she said as she emerged from the bathroom. “According to everything I’ve read and my personal calculations, I’m well into the second trimester. I guess I should have seen my doctor before quitting the mill and losing my insurance. The health department is okay but not nearly as good as a private doctor.” She weakly dragged herself back onto the bed and curled up beside him. “Oh!”
“What?” Caelan hovered over her, brushing her hair back from her face.
She placed his hand on her side just in time for a distinct thump to tap his palm. “One of your sons. A foot or a hand. I have no idea which.”
The barely perceptible mound of her stomach seemed to shift like a wave rolling within it. “The lads are swimming!”
She laughed and propped up on an elbow as the bump in her middle undulated again. “I was getting a little worried, but I guess it’s taken them a while to learn to work together in such a cramped space.”
Tears escaped him, but he whisked them away before Rachel saw them. His heart ached as though it had been ripped from his chest and twisted in two. These braw lads, his precious sons, would never know him. He could only watch them grow through the Mirrors of Time. With a deep inhale to rein in the storm battering within him, he sternly reminded himself that at least they would be safe, them and their mother both. That was all that mattered.
He leaned over and pressed a kiss to Rachel’s forehead. “I’m going to fix ye a bit of tea and toast to settle ye. Lie here and rest, if the lads will settle down and let ye catch your breath for a bit.” Rising from the bed, he paused at the doorway and glanced back, the ache in his chest almost unbearable as he watched her shift to find a more comfortable position to catch a bit more sleep.
Fists clenched against dropping to his knees and mourning what he could never have, he forced himself to turn away and head down the hall to the kitchen. He leaned against the counter, closed his eyes, and bowed his head. How in the world could he walk away from her now, when he had felt his sons move within her womb? How could he leave the woman of his heart behind and return home without her?
He lifted his head and stared up at the ceiling, reminding himself it was best for Rachel and the bairns. How many of the men of his clan were already on their second and third wives because of the dangers of bringing forth bairns in his time?
Wasn’t that the very reason Fergus, his battle-worn war chief, had kept his woman Florie at arm’s length until her time ofbearing the wee ones had passed? The man couldn’t stomach the thought of losing her.
Caelan snorted as he filled the dented teakettle with water and placed it on the stove. Why did there have to be three bairns? He couldn’t remember a single woman in all the surrounding clans who had survived birthing more than one babe at a time. Twins or more always brought death. Always. He’d attended more funerals of mothers with their bairns than he cared to count.
