“Can you ever forgive me, Celia?”
“Forgive you?” She eyed him, bracing herself for the lash of taunting words.
“I begged you to trust me, and when you did, I failed you.” Elias touched her cheek with such excruciating tenderness that she shied away. “I am more sorry than you will ever know. Please try to find it in your heart to forgive me.”
This had to be a terrible game. He was trying to trick her into letting down her guard again, so he could crush her hopes even harder. Like teasing a starving animal with the promise of food.
“Forgiveness was not a part of our bargain, my lord.” She cleared her throat, damning herself for allowing her emotions to choke her. “Our terms were marriage, a peaceful goodbye to my mother, and then your freedom with my eventual imprisonment and hanging.” She twitched a shrug. “And as I said before, I shall endeavor to become more convincing so everyone will believe we are genuine.”
He leaned forward and peered up into her face. “I truly am begging your forgiveness for being such a callous fool. This is not some cruel trick. I would never do that. And I shall never have freedom from you, Celia. Nor do I ever want it. My heart will always be yours.”
She finally lifted her gaze to his. “I do not believe you,” she said. “And I never will.”
“Then I shall spend the rest of my days trying to convince you of my sincerity.” His expression was an unreadable mask, and his eyes were dark and swirling with shadows.
She ached to believe him but couldn’t. This was a trap. He was the hound. She was the fox. And he was determined to punish her by ripping her heart to even smaller shreds. It was time to change the subject to something safer. Cold, hard details. She handled details much better than feelings. “Where shall we live once we marry?”
He studied her for a moment, then said, “Wherever you and your mother wish to live. I assumed your mother would live with us. Did I assume correctly?”
“Yes.” Celia retrieved her cup but left the saucer on the table. Better to avoid the rattle. After a small sip, she set it back down. “If it is amenable to you, it would be easier for Mama to live here. She is doing quite well, but I am unsure how well she would weather another move. Even one as simple as to a different street in London.”
“Then we shall live here.” He sat there, staring at her so long that it made her skin crawl.
She forced herself to meet his stare with a cold, hard gaze. “What?”
“I would like to bring my staff here. My housekeeper, Mrs. Camp, her son Henry, and the maid, Sarah, have been with me for years. I haven’t the heart to let them go.”
“I did not realize your lordship had a heart.” She probably should not have said that, but there it was.
His chiseled jaw hardened even more, and his nostrils flared. He bowed his head. “I deserved that and accept it fully.”
“By all means, bring your staff here.” Celia rose and went to the window overlooking the street, but saw nothing but her dismal future. “Mrs. Harcourt, our housekeeper, plans to leave us at the end of the week to care for her sister. Your Mrs. Camp can replace her.”
The heat of him embraced her, warning of his presence directly behind her. The man moved as silently as the deadly predator that he was. “I believe you will like Mrs. Camp,” he said. “She mothers everyone.”
Celia didn’t bother answering, just stared through the lacy curtains at the dreary day that perfectly mirrored her feelings.
Taking hold of her by the shoulders, Elias gently turned her, then took her hands in his and went down on one knee. “I beg your forgiveness, my precious one. I was a pompous, judgmental, cold-hearted bastard to you, and I will regret it for the rest of my life. Please, Celia. I do not say this to trick you or give you false hope. I say it because I love you, and I am ashamed of the way I behaved.”
Her blasted tears slipped free no matter how hard she blinked to hold them back. “Damn!” She yanked her hands out of his and swiped at them.
Elias remained on his knee, looking up at her with such a convincing expression that she ached to drop onto the floor and dive into his arms. But she didn’t. She could not trust him again. Not yet.
She sniffed and cleared her throat. “Forgive my language, my lord.”
“I can forgive anything as long as you can find it in your heart to forgive me.” Still on one knee, he slipped his hand inside his coat and pulled out the lock of hair she had given him. “I want this to symbolize our eternal union,” he said. “Not that heartless bargain I should have shouted down rather than agreed to.” He reached into his pocket again and drew out a dark blue velvet box. “For you, my lady. To mark the bargain I should have insisted upon. The uniting of our lives forever and a day.”
Celia stared down at it, wanting so badly for everything he said to be real. Rather than take it, she pressed her hand to the base of her throat and willed her heart to stop pounding so hard and fast. “What is it?”
His mouth set in a hard line, Elias eased open the box’s lid and held it out to her. “I had it made for you. Another reason I delayed my visit until today.”
The necklace resting on the satin pillow inside the box took her breath away. Gold beadwork bordered the heart-shaped locket covered with delicately frosted grape leaves and tiny bunches of golden grapes. Draped across the widest part of the gold heart was a garland of gemstones.
“It is so beautiful,” she said in a breathless whisper.
“The gemstones have meaning. The order they are in.” Elias rose and pointed them out. “Ruby, emerald, garnet, aquamarine, ruby again, and diamond. Their first letters are an acrostic that spells REGARD. Regard meansto seeand alsolove.This locket meansI saw you and fell in love.” He lifted it out of the box by its golden chain. “Inside is a lock of my hair and also part of the curl that you gave me.” The longing in his eyes beseeched her to believe him.
She hurried to turn away, unready to face what she saw in his eyes. “Put it on me, please?”
