CHAPTER27
He had lost her without ever truly having her. A sense of darkness settled heavy within him as Ronan pulled the wagon to a stop. His thumbs rubbed hard against the reins as if pinching the dark smooth leather would turn back the hands of time and give him a second chance with Mairi. The spark of hope that had lightened his heart when she had shown such interest in Graham was quickly doused during the silent ride back to MacKenna Keep. She hadn’t spoken a word since they left the river.
He draped the reins over the kickboard of the wagon then slowly turned to her. Her pale face looked pinched with sadness and so much more. His woman suddenly seemed so fragile and tiny, hidden in the depths of her hood. Lore a’mighty, what he wouldn’t give to have her know how precious she was to him . . . how damn much he needed her. “Hot food, a fire, and a bed await. Be ye pleased we have arrived back at yer family’s home?”
She didn’t meet his gaze, just smiled that terrible smile—that fake smile he had come to hate—the brave wall she used to shield herself and hide her true feelings. She rubbed her gloved hand against the tip of her nose and rose to descend from the wagon. “It’ll be good to be out of the weather.”
Damn yer cruel judgment, woman. Can ye not tell how much I love ye?He wanted to scream the words at her, shout them in her face until she finally admitted that she had judged him too harshly. Aye, he had gravely erred in not telling her all, but could she not see he had done so because he feared losing her?
Two red-faced lads, heads bent against the sleet cutting through the air, hurried to free the horses of the wagon and lead them to the stable. A dainty hooded figure with a heavy fur bundled in her arms rushed down the wide stone steps of the keep. Her reddish curls blowing around her face, Coira scurried over to Mairi’s side of the wagon. “Ye returned! Thanks be to the gods. I feared ye would never survive a journey in this wicked cold.”
Ronan held up his hands to Mairi and waited. His heart sank even lower at the hesitation in her gaze. Damn the curse straight to hell.She had grown to hate him so much she didn’t even wish to touch him. “Come, Mairi.” Her name caught in his throat. He swallowed hard, struggling against all he had lost. “Come.”
Avoiding his gaze, she lightly rested her gloved hands on his arms as he lifted her down from the wagon. Before he could pull her into a closer embrace, she brushed him aside, effortlessly turning away from him. Her smile trembled a bit as she hurried over to Coira. “It’s good to be back.”
Coira’s sharp-eyed gaze swept over her then slid to Ronan as she bundled the fur wrap around Mairi’s shoulders. A pinched look settled across her as she hugged Mairi closer and peered up into her hood. “Be ye unwell?”
“I am fine.”
Coira’s ruddy cheeks grew a shade brighter and her reddish blonde brows arched to her hairline. She patted Mairi’s shoulder and settled the wrap higher about her throat. “I’ll see ye to yer rooms. Mother Sinclair is already in yer sitting room. The lads are stoking the fires as we speak and Cooks prepared a piping-hot bit of soup.” She glanced back at Ronan and fixed him with a look that spoke volumes. “The chieftain awaits ye in his private solar.”
“Aye.” Ronan jerked his head down in a single nod. He hoped like hell Gray waited with whisky. Perhaps a wee dram or two would help him know what to do to make things right. A lonely howl pierced the air, making the dreary day seem that much colder.Máthairrefused to come inside the skirting walls no matter how vicious the winter storm grew. She would find shelter close to the sea and keep watch with Graham.
His heart sank lower as Mairi and Coira disappeared into the keep. She’d not even spared a glance back to see if he followed. He shook against the pain as though shaking water free. He would speak with Gray. The man was wed to a Sinclair woman. Surely, he’d ken what best to do to win Mairi back. He barreled into the keep, ignoring the quizzical looks of those gathered beside the blazing hearths in the main hall. He took the winding stone steps leading to the chieftain’s solar three at a time.Aye.Gray would ken what he should do.
* * *
“Here.You sit by the fire. I’ll bring your soup over to you.” Granny hurried Mairi across the room, gently steering her toward the pillowed chair angled close to the hearth.
Mairi welcomed the almost stifling heat of the sitting room, closing her eyes as she lowered herself into the chair. She rested her cheek against the rough weave of the cushions. What she wouldn’t give to just forget about everything and lose herself in the soothing sound of the cheerfully crackling fire.
“Drink this,” Granny ordered as a cool pewter tankard pushed into her hands.
Mairi sucked in a deep sigh, opened her eyes, and stared down at her sad reflection shimmering atop the ruby-colored liquid. She raised the cup and sipped in a deep draw. Port. Granny knew it was her favorite. She swallowed hard around the knot of emotions aching in her throat, clamping her lips tight against the threat of tears, and sucking in a deep shuddering breath.
“Out with it. Now.” Granny pulled up a stool beside her and patted a blue-veined hand atop her blanketed knee.
Mairi sniffed and straightened in the chair, carefully keeping her gaze focused on the dancing orange-white flames inside the hearth. As long as she didn’t look Granny in the eye, she should be able to get through this. “There is nothing to say. We came back here because the weather was so bad. As soon as the skies clear—hopefully, by tomorrow—we are going to say our vows beside the sea and then the curse will finally be broken. It’ll be a done deal. And everyone can go on their merry way.” She cringed. She probably shouldn’t have said that last part.
Granny’s eyes narrowed. “Go on their merry way?”
Dammit.Mairi took another long slow sip, laced her fingers around the cup, and lowered it to her lap. “Yes. Go on our merry way.” As the heat of the fire and the alcohol thawed the deep chill from her bones, she relaxed deeper in the chair, not bothering to stifle a yawn. She might as well tell Granny everything. What difference did it make? It was almost over. “The Sinclair souls will be forgiven and Ronan and company can do whatever the hell they please.”
Granny’s mouth tightened into a pinched line and her brow puckered with a scowl. She sat ramrod straight atop the stool, her bony arms folded across her chest. “And you?”
Mairi took another deep draw of the liquid courage and tossed all caution straight to hell. “I’ll return to modern-day Edinburgh and enjoy a nice relaxing soak in Eliza’s big-ass Jacuzzi.” There. She’d said it. By jings, nobody could accuse her of not telling the whole truth.
“Without Ronan.” Granny leaned forward and thumped a finger against Mairi’s sternum. “Your souls are matched. You said yourself the energy confirmed it the first time you touched.”
“Yeah . . . well, the energy lied.” Mairi threw aside the blanket and pushed up from the chair. “It’s all an act. Ronan just wants the curse broken. He never loved me.” She plunked her cup down onto the table, grabbed the pitcher, and poured a generous refill. Tonight, she would enjoy the dream-free sleep of the sloppy drunk.
Silence filled the room. Even the lively pop of the blazing firewood seemed muted. Mairi steadied herself against the table, drained the cup, then licked her lips and filled it again. She turned and sauntered back across the room, swaying back and forth as though dancing to music only she could hear. “I’ll come back and visit every now and then. I’ll be the favorite auntie who brings all the neat stuff from the future.” Yep. That’s what she would do. Enjoy the conveniences of the twenty-first century and just pop back to the past on birthdays and holidays.
“What happened?” Granny slowly rose from the stool. A sense of extreme displeasure emanated from her like the stench of cheap perfume.
Mairi snorted with a bitter laugh then took another healthy swallow of port. Granny was angry. So what? She’d just have to get over it. “Bit by bit, piece by piece, the truth of this entire fucking mess has finally come out—no thanks to Ronan the cowardly lion.” She rubbed her fingers across her numbing lips. Holy crap, she had just used theFword in front of Granny.
She blinked away the thought and lifted her chin. So, what? What was Granny going to do? Wash out her mouth with soap?
