Trulie slid her arms through his and hugged her cheek against him. “I am sorry,” she whispered. “I am so sorry all this happened.”
He took her hand and lifted it to his lips. “Without ye here...” His voice broke and rasped lower as he closed his eyes and pressed her hand to his cheek. “I never would have survived it,” he finished in a strained whisper.
“I wish you had never had to endure it.” She wrapped her arms around him and snuggled her cheek against his chest, wishing she could erase his mind.She and Granny had discussed doing that very thing to relieve his pain. But they had both sensed the same eerie knowing, the knowing sent from the Fates. Gray’s memories were to be kept intact. For some inexplicable reason, Gray needed this pain. Damn the Fates and their cruel rules. His pain made him who he was.
Gray held her tight and rested his chin atop her head. One of his hands idly caressed a path up and down her spine. “Ah ... but if I had endured nothing, who knows if Fate would have seen fit to bring us together.”
“Fate, or Granny and Tamhas?”
“Any of them.” His chest shifted with a deep intake of air. “Are ye certain...” His soothing baritone rumbled against her cheek, then faded into a heavy sigh.
“Am I certain about what?”
“Are ye certain the Fates would punish ye if ye traveled back to the past to prevent such evil? How could the gods frown upon ye for stopping one such as Aileas?” He eased back and peered down at her. “Are ye certain it is forbidden? How could they punish ye for changing it all for the good? So many good folk would be saved.”
Her heart fell at his question. She had expected the subject to surface again. The man was as unrelenting as the Highland wind, and it was just human nature to wonder how the world could be improved if you just went back and corrected the mistakes of the past.
“I’m sorry, Gray. Fate doesn’t give any wiggle room on this.” It killed her soul to refuse him. She had to make him understand the delicate balance of action and accountability. Fate chose what it allowed a time runner to change. Fate’s order could not be disobeyed. “I can’t do it. It’s the surest way to destroy a time runner ... and very possibly, all those around me.” A chill stole across her as she slid an arm’s length away.
“I dinna ken how stopping Aileas from killing my parents could possibly destroy ye.”
Another heavy sigh escaped her, she had tried to explain this before. What else could she tell him? She pulled the MacKenna colors tighter around her.
“I told you about Granny’s twin sister, Tia.” She took his hand and tugged for him to follow. Maybe a walk through the private gardens would make the explanation easier. Fresh air and the sounds of early summer in the Highlands tended to soothe the soul. She stole a glance at his. The tension there wasn’t reassuring. He knew what he wanted, but she had to convince him that it was better if he didn’t get it. “Tia not only dabbled with history, but she also manipulated it. She fouled countless lives ... and she paid for it. Now she is a reminder to all Sinclairs about what we must never do.”
“Explain.” He pushed open the carved wooden gate leading to the inner courtyard and steadied her as she picked her way across a small bridge. Water gurgled in a peaceful shallow stream around the perimeter of the garden. “Trulie?” he prompted again.
A worrisome uneasiness nagged her as she walked. Something deep inside told her this was not going to end well, no matter how she phrased it. It was difficult enough to accept Fate’s rules even when you knew in your heart how dire the consequences could be if you broke them. She took a deep breath and continued. “Tia would stand in one era and study any timeline she pleased without fully jumping. She had a penchant for watching several possible futures, then backtracking through time to see what triggered the events.”
She trailed her hand down through the soft catkins sprouting beside the path. A glance at Gray revealed his expression was even less reassuring than before. The look on his face clearly conveyed that he didn’t see how Tia’s gift was such a bad thing. Trulie took another deep breath. She was getting to that part, and hopefully, he would understand. Granny had compared Tia’s gift to watching different channels on television and rewriting the scripts as an example. Trulie smiled to herself. That analogy wouldn’t quite work with Gray.
Trulie finally pointed to the shallow waters of the reflecting pool built in the center of the garden. “What if you could stand right here, look down into the water, and see what was happening anywhere in the world during any time period you wanted?”
He arched a dark brow and thoughtfully stroked his chin. “That would be a fair gift indeed.”
“And what if you could split those visions to see every possible option for a particular line of time depending on which choice was made? What if you could pick the future that you liked the best and step back through the water to alter it even more—tweak it to occur exactly as you wished?” Trulie sat down on the low stone wall and dipped her fingers in the water.
His eyes widened as he slowly voiced his thoughts. “I could make the world a better place. I could ensure no ill befell anyone.” He sat down beside her and leaned forward, his face bright with interest. “Think of the people ye could save. Think of the evil ye could avert.”
She frowned down into the water as she disturbed her reflection with her hand. “And what if after you changed things for what you thought was an even better version of the future, it triggered a different chain of events you hadn’t foreseen? Worse events. What if those you tried to save ended up suffering an even more terrible fate? What if those you loved turned on you?”
The smile faded from Gray’s face. His expression darkened into a troubled scowl. He tossed a hand in the air as though dismissing what Trulie said. “Then I would jump through time again and repair the damage I caused. Ye could always undo whatever had been done.”
“And when you did that, even more things spiraled out of control, because no matter how careful you were, something unexpected always happened. Somehow, no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t foresee every possible reaction you might trigger.” She folded her hands in her lap, her heart heavy at the frustrated disappointment in the slump of his shoulders.
“What happened to your grandmother’s sister?” He leaned forward and stared down at the ground. The muscles of his jaw flexed beneath the dark dusting of his late-afternoon beard.
“Fate took away her ability to bear children. Tia became corrupted with jealousy and rage. When she lashed out and sought revenge, she was ordered destroyed by the only man she had ever loved.” Trulie stared down at her hands. “He declared her an abomination to the natural world and watched while they executed her. Slowly.”
Trulie could tell by the expression on Gray’s that face he still didn’t agree with the rule. “Tia needed to be destroyed, Gray. She had become a monster. People suffered because of the things she did. They are still suffering because of her actions. Just because we are allowed to travel across the web of time doesn’t mean we’re allowed to change it to suit our own desires. Every thread is part of the whole. Nothing can be manipulated without affecting everything else. We must trust the wisdom of Fate and what will and won’t be allowed.”
“What ye say makes no sense,” he said with a sideways glance. “Ye change a time as soon as ye shift into existence in another era. If ye truly feared to make things worse, the lot of ye would never travel the web at all.” He turned to her, jaw set, his eyes dark and unreadable. “How could it possibly make things worse to save my parents from suffering such a cruel end?”
She gazed across the quiet garden greening beneath the warm sun. She had no good answer for him. A time runner—a good one with a conscience—knew in her heart what was okay to mess with and what wasn’t. His parents’ death had to be left intact. Trulie felt it. The knowing wasn’t something she could easily explain. The understanding had been planted in her heart at a young age and nurtured into being so.
She reached for him. Her heart sank when he stood and stepped back for her. “Granny instilled a great respect for time and its ways within us. She taught us everything happens for a reason. We have to avoid the temptation toforceour own will into the web. We all know the damage we can cause. Tia’s mistakes taught us to treat our gifts with the proper respect and be careful when we leap.” She dropped her hand into her lap and stared down at it. “We don’t run across the threads of time all willy-nilly, without reason. Each jump is thought through and studied before it’s done ... at least by one of us.” She bent and trailed her hand across the top of the shimmering water. Surely Granny had thought through this very trip before finally getting her to jump. “The reason we jumped this time was because Granny first insisted it was time for her last leap.” Trulie didn’t mention the part about Granny hinting that Trulie was destined to choose a husband from the past.
“Last leap?” Gray glanced back at her. His sullen look darkened even further.
