I pull her into a hug, kissing her cheek. “Thank you, baby.”
Between her and Shanice, they’re both tripping over themselves to do this or that for me.
I watch as Meghan puts a little oil at the bottom of the pan and then measures out the popcorn kernels in a measuring cup, all while smiling.
“You’re in a great mood today,” she suddenly says without taking her eyes off of the pot.
“Am I not allowed to be in a good mood?”
She gives me a side-eye.
“It’s Christmas Eve,” I defend.
“Which you hate.”
I jut my head back in surprise. “I never hated Christmas Eve.”
Meghan shrugs. “Maybe not hated, but …” She trails off as if she doesn’t want to say.
“What?”
She puts a few of the kernels into the oil and watches them pop before she pours the remaining kernels into the pot.
It’s not until she closes the lid over the pan as the kernels begin to pop that she finally starts talking again.
“Don’t get me wrong,” she starts, “we had wonderful Christmases when we were kids. Shanice and me,” she clarifies.
“But there were times when, I don’t know, I would look over and it didn’t seem like you were enjoying it. I mean, yes, we did all of the things, and decorations and whatnot, but every now and then it felt like you were checked out.”
My heart sinks with every word.
“Then once you moved out here and declared you weren’t even decorating for the holidays, I assumed it was because youwere finally acknowledging how much you hate this time of year.”
I open my mouth to respond but a voice over Meghan’s shoulder responds before I do.
“It’s because she was exhausted,” Shanice says.
Meghan turns to face her sister.
Shanice is looking at me. “I understand it now.”
Her eyes go to her sister. “Mom doesn’t hate Christmas, but when you’re the main one doing all of the holiday shopping, cooking, cleaning, organizing, and decorating it gets to be a lot. After almost six years of doing it, I started to feel weary in my bones.”
She looks back at me.
“I can’t imagine having done it for over twenty-five years.”
“I never thought of it like that,” Meghan says just above a whisper.
Before I know how to say, she throws her arms around me. “I’m sorry, Mom. I never thought about what you must’ve felt or been going through.”
“Stop it, now,” I shush her with a pat on her back. Then I wait for her to release me so that I can look both her and Shanice in the eyes.
“Yes, all of those holiday activities were exhausting and tiring after a while, but I never regretted them, nor will I ever regret them because they put smiles on your faces. Do not start blaming yourself for thinking I was miserable,” I tell both of them.
“I made my decisions, and I own every single one. You two are the light of my life and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat for the both of you. Okay?"
Meghan smiles before remembering the popcorn.
