Luckily, Randy and Charlotte remain too occupied by Ms. Rachel on the television to pay attention to Shanice and me.
“You have nothing to apologize for,” I tell her.
She pulls back to look me in the face. “But I do. I blamed you for divorcing Daddy,” she cries. “I told you it was your fault and that you didn’t try hard enough. And-and-and …”
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” I say just above a whisper. “You don’t have to?—”
“N-n-no, I need to tell you th-th-this.” She takes a beat to compose herself, wiping her red nose and drying her eyes with the sleeves of her sweatshirt.
After a couple of minutes to gather herself, she starts talking.
“I thought I was mad at you for leaving Daddy. He told me you were the one pushing for it and that he loved you so much and never wanted a divorce.”
She sniffles.
“But th-th-then just days after telling me all of that, he was out with that woman.”
I suppose she’s referring to Rick’s former colleague, the one he dated not long after we separated.
“It wasn’t until after you moved to Texas that I realized I wasn’t angry. I was jealous.”
My eyebrows lift.
“I envied the fact that you no longer had to put up with a man who showed little regard for you. But I couldn’t say that out loud.
“What type of mother would that make me? What type of wife?”
I cup her face. “You would still be the sweet, caring woman you’ve always been.”
She nods while wiping away a tear.
I pull her into another hug.
“You don’t have to figure everything out right now, baby,” I promise her. “Let’s just enjoy Christmas together, okay?” I ask, using the words Joel told me that very morning.
Shanice nods into my shoulder. I release her from my embrace and wipe her tears away, noticing the tiredness in her eyes.
“Why don’t you go wash your face and lay down for a little while? Let Grandma handle the grandbabies.”
She gives me a small smile before leaning in to kiss my cheek.
“I love you, Mom. Thank you.”
My heart fills with happiness. It’s been a while since I’ve heard those three words from her. I hadn’t realized how much I’ve missed them.
“I love you, too. Go.”
I give her a gentle push in the direction of the hallway toward the bathroom.
CHAPTER 31
Joel
Joel:
Meet me at Sweet Serenity Bed & Breakfast at nine.
I sent that text to Ellyn this morning right after I woke up. Today is Christmas Eve, and it’s been days since I’ve had any real alone time with the woman I love.
