“My father wasn’t just some asshole. He was a very rich asshole. I was the bastard son he kept hidden. My half-brothers were the golden boys of Williamsport growing up. I’m about a decade younger than Robert.”
I squint. “Robert Townsend?” I ask, putting the first name and Joel’s last name together.
He nods.
The name is familiar. He’s some business tycoon. I think my ex mentioned the company Townsend Industries at some point, or I possibly heard it while he tuned into one of the business channels he often watched.
“You’re connected to those Townsends?”
He tips his head in the affirmative as if he were wearing one of his cowboy hats. “My brother didn’t find out about me until we were adults. But my father kept me his secret, and when I was a teen I came to him, wanting validation. He never owned up to me in public, but I worked for the darker side of his business.”
I frown, not quite following.
Joel pushes out a breath, obviously having difficulty getting this out.
“I’m not proud of what I did for my father back then, but let’s just say that if any muscle was needed, he called on me. I used it as a means to take out my anger on the world, and whatI thought was proving to my father that I was worthy of him claiming me publicly.”
At this point, Joel doesn’t have to spell it out. He aided his father’s illegal side of the business. One much bloodier and possibly deadlier than the legitimate corporation the family’s known for today.
“I was young when I met my wife, but had been bathed in blood for years by that point.”
“That’s why you pushed her away,” I interject.
“I didn’t want to taint her or my son with the blood on my hands,” he explains. “But when she left and cut off all contact with me, a piece of me died. Which was strange since I believed I was already dead inside.”
“You weren’t,” I say, stroking the side of his face.
“She was the one who brought me back from the dead. About a year after I married Gina, my father called on me again. She overheard and stopped me. Made me choose between her and Micah or my father.”
Joel’s eyes meet mine.
“I chose my family over the bastard that abandoned me.”
He turns his head and kisses the inside of my palm.
“Don’t get me wrong … while I cut ties with my father for years, I did what I had to do for my family. So, yeah, a little blackmail here and there to get the money to buy my father-in-law’s ranch when he got too sick to care for it himself, and to buy the ranch next door to expand my business.
“I’m not a saint, Ellyn, but every decision I’ve made since Gina gave me that ultimatum has been to protect my family.”
He pulls me tighter against his body with both arms.
“Which now includes you because I’m in love with you, Ellyn Chamberland.”
My heartbeat pounds in my ears as the wordsI love youwhirl around in my mind. His confession has twisted up everythinginside of me. I don’t even know if he’s aware how much of a hold he has over me.
“I love you, too.” I press a kiss to his lips before pulling back. “I’m not just saying it because you said it first,” I explain. “I-I’ve known it for weeks.”
He grins knowingly before kissing me into silence.
A contented sigh parts my lips, allowing entry for his tongue to taste me. This is the moment I realize why I held back. The reason that I hadn’t said the words.
I wanted to hear him say it first.
Not in a desire for a power imbalance in our relationship or anything of the sort.
But to be sure.
I needed Joel to be sure he wants me the way I want him.
