It’s been about forty-five minutes since we arrived back at the house after our snowmobile ride. Neither one of us was hungry for food since we’d practically had dinner out in the woods, so we sat around the glass, wood-burning fireplace in the master bedroom, talking.
Somehow, I allowed that man to convince me to get changed into my bathing suit and climb into the hot tub that sits out on the house’s terrace.
Now, I stand in front of the full-length mirror in my black and white striped bikini, examining myself. I’ve brought two other bathing suits, both of them one piece. But I was feeling a little daring when I chose to put this one on.
Now, I can’t help but to stare at the evident stretch marks that line the sides of my breasts, just above the cup of my bikini’s top.
Then there’s the wrinkled skin and pudge of my lower abdomen, which will never go away no matter how many planksI do because that’s the area of my body that stretched to capacity to accommodate both of the babies I carried.
That reminder causes a proud grin to spread across my lips.
Just that quick, I snap out of the subtle body-shaming and remember my body for the miracle it is.
I turn and reach for my black cover up before sliding it over my shoulders and then slipping my feet into the slides I often wear when going to the pool or beach.
“Oh,” Joel says, startled when I pull our bedroom door open. He stands there wide eyed for a beat before he allows his gaze to sweep over the length of my body.
Though the cover up is slightly see through, I doubt he can see much given the twilight hour and the dim lighting in our room.
“The water’s warm enough,” he says, his voice taking on a gravelly tone. He reaches for my hand before bringing it to his lips.
“I can’t believe I allowed you to talk me into getting into this thing right now,” I gripe while still following him toward the back of the house where the terrace sits.
“It can’t be more than thirty degrees outside,” I continue. “Not to mention we’re surrounded by snow. We could catch hypothermia out here. Or worse, pneumonia.”
I know my words come across a bit much, but my nervousness probes me to continue nagging about something. Either that, or I’ll have to admit how completely out of place I feel.
Not out of place, but exactly in the right place. Which is what makes me feel so off-kilter.
“I’ll get in first,” is all he says as we reach the hot tub.
For the first time since he took my hand, I take my eyes off of his back and gaze at the scene around us. It’s absolutely spectacular.
Pink and orange hues decorate the sky as the sun sinks behind the snowcapped mountains in the distance.
But the show that steals my breath is when I break my gaze away from nature and look over at Joel, who’s just removed the V-neck he had on. The only thing he wears now is a pair of light blue swim trunks. They stop just above his knees.
I allow my eyes to trace the light hairs of his chest down to his abdomen in which muscles form the line of a six pack. My eyes travel farther south, and it’s hard not to acknowledge the obvious bulge in his swim trunks. My teeth sink into the skin of my bottom lip as I bite back a groan.
Slowly, I lift the coverall over my head, removing it and placing it on the bench by where we’ve left our slip-ons.
When I turn back to face Joel, his heavy-lidded gaze rests on me. Neither one of us says anything for almost a full minute.
Instead, Joel moves to the hot tub, stepping down into the water. Steam rises above the hot tub, creating a warm bubble around us, shielding our bodies from the cold Montana air.
“Ellyn?”
I blink and glance down at Joel’s outstretched hand. That must not have been the first time he called my name, I realize. I move closer, placing my hand into his, and allow him to guide me into the hot tub, one step at a time.
A laugh escapes me when he pulls my back flat against his chest. He brackets his strong arms around me, securing my body to his, and I sigh as I lay my head against his chest.
“This is amazing,” I say. “I never would’ve thought to put a hot tub here.” I peer up at his handsome face. “But this is perfect.”
He drops a kiss to my lips, leaving me slightly breathless.
“I thought Kenny was a fool when he suggested it when we were drawing up plans for this place. I told him he was batshitif he ever thought I would put money into a place with brutal winters and a hot tub.”
“How long before you ate those words?”
