“Let me guess,” I say. “You knew the moment she told you that, that she was who you wanted to be with for life. So you got down on one knee right there and then.”
He chuckles but shakes his head.
“Wish I could say I was man enough to have done that. The truth is, I broke up with her. Told her to get rid of it and never contact me again.”
My heart squeezes inside of my chest. The pain in his voice as he recounts that conversation is palpable.
“Dumb son of a bitch I was,” he grumbles. “She left Williamsport. I didn’t hear from her for almost a year. I assumed she did what I told her to do about the baby.”
“But she didn’t,” I guess.
“’Course not. Eleven months later, I get a call from her pissed off daddy. Gina was in the hospital, clinging to life. She’d gotten into a car accident near the ranch. Came close to dying, and she begged her parents to call me so that I could meet our son before she died.”
Joel shakes his head.
“That was her dying wish. For me to meet my son, just once.”
He lifts his hat from his head and places it on the haystack beside him before running his fingers through his grey, trimmed hair, tussling it. Unease and tension course through him.
I snuggle closer, pressing my palm to his chest.
“It was when I saw her in that hospital bed that I knew what a fool I was. Then her mother brought the baby to the hospital. Micah was three months old. Soon as she put that little boy in my arms, I never wanted to let him go.”
Joel shakes his head, shoulders rounded in shame as he stares at his black cowboy boots.
“She made it though. Gina was tough as nails. Only a few days later, she turned it all around and pulled through. I wouldn’t leave her side after that, although she wanted me to.”
He chuckles.
“Told me she only wanted to see me ’cause she thought she was dying. Now that she was healin’, I could return toWilliamsport. I refused, though. Took months, but eventually, she forgave me.
“I proposed and we got married.”
Joel looks me in the eye.
“She was kind enough never to tell Micah what an asshole I was for leaving her after I found out she was pregnant. But it was harder to forgive myself for missing her pregnancy and the first few months of his life.”
I reach over and squeeze his thigh.
“You wanted to know why my sons call me Joel. It took me years to feel worthy of being their father. Never felt like I deserved the title, so … Joel.” He nods.
My heart breaks.
“We all make mistakes when we’re younger.”
“Some are unforgivable,” he counters.
“But you’ve spent the past almost four decades being the father and now grandfather your children needed,” I remind him. “From what I can tell, you’ve more than made up for your past and earned the title of ‘dad’.”
He lifts his gaze, looking at me, a renewed spark in his eyes. Not for the first time, I realize that although strong, sometimes abrasive, and more than a little gruff on the outside, Joel Townsend is a big ol’ softy where it counts the most.
I lean in and press my lips to his. The kiss is short-lived, more meant to comfort than to be sensual.
“Now, I can’t even get those damn boys I raised to put up Christmas lights with me or the tree,” he gripes.
I bump his shoulder.
“Didn’t they all just spend Thanksgiving with you?”
