“Yeah,” Carlene said, noting my surprise. “Young as hell.”
“She was practically a baby.”
“A baby having a baby. In some ways, she’s probably still that same fourteen-year-old girl. I didn’t need to get down to her level, curse her out, and ruin the rest of my day or week. I left.”
“That’s it? You just walked out?”
“Pretty much.” She nodded. “Then I called Jason, and he left work early to let me cry on his shoulder for the next hour.” A small smile creased her mouth. “He’s downstairs making dinner because he knows how much I love his lobster mac n’ cheese.”
“And because you can’t cook worth a damn,” I joked.
Carlene cracked up, falling back against the couch in her den. “True that. Why do you think I’m marrying the top chef at a Michelin star restaurant?”
We both laughed.
Carlene sobered up first. “For a long time, I didn’t think I was worthy of this type of love. It’s hard to believe in something like that when you grow up in the kind of environment I did.”
I nodded.
“But I’m glad I didn’t let my past dictate my future,” she added.
I pinched my brows together. “Why do I feel this is turning into a lecture for me?”
“Because it is, now hush while I drop some knowledge on you.”
I sucked my teeth.
“Hush,” Carlene insisted again.
I clamped my mouth shut.
“I love you, Mia. You've been my best friend for almost twenty years now. And I doubt I would’ve had enough faith to take the leap with Jason if you didn’t push me a little. So, I’m here to do the same for you.”
“I’m listening,” I said.
“Then stop interrupting me,” she retorted. “As I was saying, let that man love you. You and I don't come from the same background. Your parents are the poster children for happily ever after. But I think when that didn’t happen for you in your first few relationships, you started to doubt that it could happen. You hid behind work, and yes, I know,” she said, holding up her hand to stop what I was about to say.
“You don’t work at that job anymore. And yes, you are busy opening up your new shop. A dream you’ve wanted for years. But don’t use it as an excuse.”
“I’m not,” I insisted.
“Are you sure?”
“What are you implying?”
“Didn’t he ask you to continue staying with him? But you decided to move back into your home anyway?”
“What’s wrong with moving back to my house? A house I pay the mortgage on,” I reminded her.
“Nothing’s wrong with it. If you did it for the right reasons.”
“We’ve only known one another for three months.”
“Jason and I said I love you after the first two weeks,” she explained as if I didn’t know this story already. “We moved in after three months. Yes, it took more time for us to fall into our groove, but I’m saying that when you let yourself open up to the possibility, it gets easier to trust your gut.”
I smirked, unbelieving that Carlene was on the phone telling me all of this. A few years earlier, I could easily see Sharise saying these words. My sister, much like my parents, found the love of her life early on and hadn’t looked back. Carlene was a different story.
However, as I listened to her and thought back on the conversation the three of us had at lunch a few weeks earlier, it started to resonate. There were some ways in which I was holding myself back from Brutus. I didn’t want to risk another heartbreak, but that was just silly because my heart was already deeply invested.
