I turned back to find Chael with two of his packmates and Chance standing before him. An unreadable mask covered his face as he stood with his arms across his chest. His eyes circled the kitchen before landing on me. His expression didn’t change but his eyes lingered on me before one of the men caught his attention again. He gave the guy a withering look.
What was that about?
“Well?” Cherri asked again.
“Oh, um. That sounds like a great idea,” I told her.
“You think so? Is that what Mother Moon told you?” She sounded so excited, I couldn’t tell her that I hadn’t really seen anything regarding her future.
“Well, not quite, but I get the sense that you’re highly ambitious and intelligent. I don’t know much about engineering but I think those are great qualities for any career you choose.”
My comment had the desired impact, and Cherrie’s smile widened. She let out a breath as if she’d been holding on to it for a while.
“Mama, I’m going to be an engineer,” Cherrie yelled out. “Our alpha queen saw it.”
My shoulders slumped. “That’s not exactly—”
My correction was cut off when Cherrie’s mother clapped and hugged her daughter.
“Is this true?” Ms. Elsie asked.
I shook my head. “I, excuse me. I need to go check on Henry.” I moved past her and darted out of the room.
I passed through the long hallway toward the back of the house and out the back door. The cool desert breeze that landed against my cheeks reminded me to breathe. I inhaled and let it out slowly.
Henry lifted his head and made a sound when he spotted me. He lay on his very soft and comfortable doggy bed on the porch. This had been where he spent most of his time since getting discharged from Dr. Drake’s a few days earlier.
“How’re you doing, buddy?” I asked, sitting beside him on the top stair of the back porch. He purred happily and laid his head across my lap as I scratched behind his ears. “Doesn’t take much to make you happy, huh?” I grinned.
He let out a sigh, making me laugh more. I kissed the top of his head. His recovery was going well, much quicker than I initially thought. I had taken him out for a few walks since he was released, and he grew stronger every day. I supposed it was the special tinctures and medicines that Dr. Drake gave him. They were a mix of organ meat, herbs, and the doctor’s secret potions helped.
It was probably time that I told Chael it was time for me and Henry to go. I said I would remain until Henry got better and he had maybe a couple of more weeks. I ignored the way my heart tightened in my chest at the thought of leaving the commune.
“What are we doing here, Henry?” I sighed as I stared out at the twilight sky. The beauty of the rainbow of purple, magenta, and orange in the sky took my breath away. At the angle I sat, the mountains in the distance appeared as if they reached into the puffy clouds as they crept by overhead.
I peered over my shoulder, satisfied to see the door behind me closed.
“I can’t be his mate,” I whispered next to Henry’s ear.
He tilted his head and lifted an eyebrow as if to ask me to elaborate.
“I’m not…” I pushed out a breath, trying to sort out my numerous thoughts. “Men like him don’t choose women like me. Matthew Carter didn’t in high school,” I confessed to Henry and the silent night, talking about my first boyfriend. Or more so, the boy I believed was my first boyfriend at the time.
“He was so popular, and I couldn’t believe it when he asked me out to the movies. It didn’t bother me that he told me to meet him at a theater thirty minutes from the town where we lived.”
That was how our dates and relationship went. Matthew and I would meet somewhere outside of our town or mostly hang out at my place when my nana wasn’t home. He rarely spoke to me in school, but I chalked it up to the fact that he was class president, captain of three different sports teams, and was in all AP and honors classes. He didn’t have time to talk to his girlfriend during the day.
“Until I found out he had a girlfriend that went to another school. She was a cheerleader.” I snorted. “That made sense. And when everyone found out that I’d lost my virginity to him, they called me the whore and laughed at me for believing that someone like Matthew Carter would want to date me for anything more than sex.”
I peered down at Henry.
“He never apologized either.” That was what hurt the most. Thinking you have a genuine connection with someone, only to find out it was all one sided.
“Then it happened again and again,” I admitted. It wasn’t always the same context or scenario, but one by one, the men of my past taught me that I wasn’t their first or second choice. I was never more than a warm body and a convenience.
“And then there’s Mama.” I sighed, my chest constricting tightly. “She was the first person to dump me.” I cleared my throat. “Anyway, how am I supposed to believe that I’m his mate?” I shook my head. “No, that doesn’t matter. He didn’t choose his mate. He just got stuck with me somehow.”
That probably explained why Chael hadn’t been around much lately. Sure, he told me he was out tracking down something essential or handling pack business, but what if it was that he was just disappointed in who Mother Moon or whoever had picked as his mate?
