“Work.” She gave me a tight smile. “I had to work with all kinds of patients when I started in healthcare. I’d successfully avoided young children and babies up until then. But then I couldn’t. So, I had a decision to make. I could either put my pain above their needs, or I could push through and be the healthcare provider they deserved.”
She shrugged.
“And I didn’t have anything left.” She looked me in the eyes. “I no longer had you, or our baby, a family. Even my dream of going to medical school, I gave up on. I decided that eventually becoming a PA was one more thing I didn’t want to lose. So, I sucked it up.”
I stood to my full height and peered down at her.
“You no longer had me?” I asked, my voice tight. “You always fucking had me. Always. All you had to do was come back.”
There was the truth.
I was hurt, pissed, and brokenhearted when she left. But all she would’ve had to do was walk through my door, and all would’ve been forgiven.
I tried but couldn’t ignore the tear that fell from her eye.
“Why did you leave?” I had to know, finally. “You tore a fucking hole in my chest when you walked away. Why?” I demanded.
She looked away from me, staring at the ground.
“Look at me, Savannah. Why the fuck did you walk away?”
She pushed out a heavy breath. “You deserved better. More.”
“How can you even say that?” I shook my head, not understanding.
“I couldn’t…”
“Couldn’t what?” I yelled, louder than I intended.
But Savannah didn’t shrink away.
“I couldn’t be the one to cause you any more pain. If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t hurt so much. After AJ died, I knew you did your best to be there for me, but it hurt to see the pain in your eyes. For what we both lost. I knew it was my fault that pain was there.”
Her shoulders dropped.
“And then after what Joel said to me, I knew…”
“What do you mean it was your fault? What did my father say to you?”
Her eyes widened, and she shook her head. “Nothing.”
“Don’t tell me nothing. I’ve been waiting sixteen years for an explanation. You owe me that.”
She rubbed her hands up and down her eyes as she closed her eyes. “That was the worst time of my life.” She opened her eyes and started to tell me what had happened sixteen years ago.
CHAPTER21
Then
Savannah
“Hey, Savannah, can you take these boxes upstairs?” Jerry, the store manager, asked as soon as I stepped from behind the retail counter to take my lunch.
My stomach had been growling for the past thirty minutes, and I was anxious to use the bathroom. No one told me that, once I reached the six-month mark of pregnancy, I’d have to pee every five freaking minutes.
I peered at the cardboard box that sat on one of the rolling racks we used to transport clothes from one side of the store to the other.
“I’m kinda in a rush. Does it need to be taken right away?” I asked, shifting from one foot to the other, trying desperately to hold in the current contents of my bladder.
