“Thought you were ignoring me,” Joel said when I pulled the door open.
I didn’t know quite how to respond to that. This was the first time I was seeing him in over sixteen years. I hadn’t thought much about what I would say to him if I ever saw him again.
“Given what I did the last time we were in this position, I wouldn’t blame ya if you were,” he said, his Texas twang making an appearance.
“Mr. Tow—Joel,” I corrected.
He stood a little taller and removed the cowboy hat he wore. He slapped the hat against his thigh, almost as if he was nervous. It was hard to picture a man like Joel Townsend as anxious or uncertain.
“May I come in?”
“Um.” I cleared my throat. “Ace isn’t here,” I said, assuming he didn’t already know.
He nodded. “It’s you I came to speak with.”
“Sure.” I stepped aside.
He came inside and glanced around as if seeing the house for the first time.
“A shame he’s got orders to leave soon.” Joel turned to face me. “This is a fine house. We’ll miss him.”
That ache in my heart started again. That was the other issue hanging over our heads. Ace’s eventual move to Germany. He’d all but asked Aiden and me to go with him, but I hadn’t given him an answer.
Joel looked me up and down. “Do you need to leave for work soon?”
I shook my head. “I have some time. Would you like something to drink?” I pointed over my shoulder toward the kitchen.
He waved his cowboy hat as he shook his head. “Nah.”
An awkward silence fell between us. I’d always felt uneasy around Joel.
“I’m going to tell you something I’ve told very few people in my life,” he finally said.
I remained quiet, waiting.
“I’m sorry.” He shook his head, regretful. “I never should’ve said what I said to you. If I hadn’t had my head stuck so far up my ass, I would’ve told you the truth.”
“What’s the truth?” I braced myself for his answer.
“You weren’t the cause of Ace’s pain. To the contrary, you saved him.”
I jutted my head backward, totally not expecting that response.
“He’s a hothead. He gets that from me. And some of it from his mama.” He pointed at me with the hat in his hand. “Most people don’t know it, but my wife could lose her temper now and again. Especially when someone she loved was threatened.”
He smiled as if a memory he chose to keep to himself came to mind.
“I knew all of the trouble he started getting into when we found out her condition was terminal. The skipping school and getting into those stupid races. But I was too wrapped up in my grief to help him.”
I slowed my breathing as I listened to Joel. It felt as if something deep inside me needed to hear these words as badly as he needed to say them.
“You were the rock he needed. To cut that stupid shit out and be the man he needed to be then. It was you that helped him do that.”
“You don’t have to…” I trailed off.
“I’m not just saying it,” he said forcefully. “I mean it. I knew it back then. If I hadn’t been so clouded by my grief and jealousy, I would’ve said it back then.”
“Jealousy?” Grief, I understood. It made us act in uncharacteristic ways. But I didn’t get the jealousy.
