“You think she knew?” I asked because of the skepticism in her voice.
“She knew because I told her what I saw. I wanted her to help me make sense of it, but she just told me to stay out of grown folks’ business.” Jocelyn grew silent for a beat. “Not once did she confront him about it. We went on as if we were still one big happy family. I tried to keep it to myself. And I did, for a long time. Then, he got sick. Corey and I were only twenty-one when he was diagnosed with ALS. He lived two years with that awful disease. Mama was there every day for him. That was when I couldn’t keep denying what I saw when I was younger.”
She sighed.
“Seeing her cater to him and cry and grieve after his death, it tore at the last thread that held together the picture-perfect image of our family, in my mind.”
The need to face her fully as she opened up to me, drove me to move from between her legs, over to the opposite side of the bed to face her. We stared into one another’s eyes. She searched mine.
“I don’t hate him. I never did. I love my dad,” she fervently said.
I pressed a kiss to her forehead. “You don’t have to defend your feelings to me, babe. We can love someone and not always like their behaviors.”
She nodded with tears in her eyes and moved into my embrace. I wrapped her up as I always did, as if I was never letting her go. Because I wasn’t. There were three words I wanted to say so badly, I felt them right down to my core, but Jocelyn wasn’t ready to hear them. Despite all that we’d revealed to one another, I knew she’d try and bolt at the first admittance of love.
What she’d just shared told me as much. She didn’t fully trust it yet, which meant she didn’t trust me.
I moved until our lips met and poured my feelings into the kiss, saying what I couldn’t say using words.
Even as a passionate haze overtook us, a voice rang out at the back of my head.
Can you save her this time?
Chapter 25
Don
“What’s goingon with the investigation?” Emanuel asked, approaching me right before I exited the stationhouse.
I jutted my head toward the door for him to follow me outside. I didn’t want to talk about the case inside the station. Only a handful of guys knew about the details of the case, and I wanted to keep it that way.
A piece of me debated whether letting everyone on our squad know my suspicions, but since I could only trust a limited number of people with this information, I played it close to the vest.
“I’m still looking for Rogers,” I told him. “I quit trying to prove to Murray these arsons are real.”
“What the fuck is with that guy? Do you think he’s involved in this?”
I shook my head. “Doubt it. He’s close to retirement and looks like he wants to live on easy street until it’s time to collect his pension.”
Emanuel’s face balled up. “Fucking prick.”
I couldn’t agree more. “Yeah. And I’m not waiting around for him to get with the picture. Rogers hasn’t been around his place or the station since his leave of absence. He hasn’t used his credit cards since that night at the club.”
Emanuel wrinkled his forehead. “Are you sure he’s still alive?”
“He’s alive,” I said, firmly. “There’s been bank activity. He’s using cash to avoid being followed. I’m still sitting on this storage unit he has. I think he’ll return there eventually. When he does, I’ll get his ass.”
“You need me for anything, just let me know. I’d love to help you pin that son of a bitch and get the shithead who almost killed Angela and my fiancée.”
Emanuel and Janine had gotten engaged not long after the fire at Angela’s.
“I’m fine for right now, but if anything comes up that I need you for, I’ll let you know.”
We parted ways, and I started for my truck. When I did, my phone rang, and I stilled when I saw the word ‘Restricted’ on the screen.
I knew it was him.
“I wondered when your bitch ass would call again,” I answered.
