I stared at the center of his chest and trailed my fingers along the skin there. Goosebumps rose on his skin, and it felt good to know my touch could have that kind of impact on him.
“Your father?” His voice came out thick, strained.
“He was a good man, and a great firefighter, but it was like once I turned twelve, he stopped seeing me altogether. He didn’t show up for my basketball or softball games, not nearly as much as he went to Corey’s games. He’d take Corey to the station often, but when I asked to tag along, he’d point to the kitchen and tell me I should help my mother. My mother would say that he’s just busy and how much he loved me. But it didn’t always feel like it.
“I idolized my father when I was a little girl. I got into sports because that seemed like the best way to get his attention. He coached our T-ball team and, later, Corey’s basketball team. But once I hit middle school and puberty, he turned over the reins to my mother where I was concerned. Then there was the cheating.”
I looked up at Don and realized I’d gotten lost in my thoughts. “Why am I telling you all of this?”
I flipped over onto my other side to stare out the window, assuming putting my back to him would create the emotional distance I needed to feel on more solid ground.
Easier said than done.
It felt too easy to let my guard down and talk to Don. I hadn’t been able to open up to many people, men especially, since… ever. But as much as Don liked to talk and joke, he was just as good a listener. What a dangerous combination.
Don spooned me from behind with his arm wrapped around my waist.
I melted into his hold, and my eyelids fluttered at the feeling of his warm breath gliding over the back of my neck.
“My mother died when I was fifteen,” he said, almost inaudibly.
“How?”
I typically considered asking something like that rude as hell, but Don had pounded on my door in the middle of the night, waking me up. Also, it felt refreshing not being the only one to open up, to be vulnerable between the two of us.
There was a long pause.
Too long.
“She had Alzheimer's.” His voice was gravelly, as if he’d fought to get the words out.
I opted not to ask any more questions. Instead, I ran my fingers up and down his forearm, feeling the corded muscles there covered by soft skin. I dwelled in my thoughts until tiny snores sounded behind me.
Then and only then did I bring his hand up to my lips, kissing the outside of his hand before falling asleep myself.
Chapter 18
Don
“Why didn’tyou save me, Donnie?”
“Shit.”
I startled awake in Jocelyn’s bed.
Another dream.
The second one in the two weeks since that motherfucker called my phone. Truth be told that call was the reason I’d ended up over Jocelyn’s instead of taking my ass home. I’d been dead to rights tired after my shift, but I couldn’t stop thinking about that call and her.
More and more, I felt the need to protect her. I couldn’t let her down like I had my mother. Or Corey.
“Jesus are you trying to squeeze the life out of me?” she asked, her sleepy voice piercing my thoughts.
I loosened the vise hold I had around her midsection. “Sorry.”
She inhaled as I released her, and I felt guilty for not realizing how tightly I’d held onto her as she slept.
“What time is it?”
