He laughs. “Heading to work as we speak.” He pinches my chin between his fingers, kissing me before exiting the kitchen.
I watch for a moment, grateful for his encouragement. “How did I get so lucky?” I sigh, repeating the same question he asked a few nights earlier before entering the holiday party.
Unfortunately, as I think about that night, memories of our exit also come to mind, but I push them aside. I refuse to dwell on that man’s accusations, even if they have been coming back to me repeatedly.
Ten minutes later, I hang up the phone, having called out of work for the rest of the week, using my vacation time to do so. A pang of guilt flickers in my chest, but I choose to ignore it. While I love teaching, Neil is right. Baking is my passion. The thing I’ve wanted to do since I realized that you could bake for a living. Why it took me so long to come to terms with it … well, that’s something I’ll have to think about when I have more time.
It takes me another fifteen minutes to respond to Xavier’s email, take stock of the ingredients I’ll need to complete the order, and compile a list of what I need to get from the store.
“Oh,” I blurt out as I open my door to come face-to-face with my mother.
Her hand is raised as if she was poised to knock.
“Glad I caught you before you left for work,” she says by way of greeting.
“Mom … uh, I’m not on my way to work. I’m going to the store. Is everything okay?” I ask, concerned since it’s the middle of the week, and she’s stopping by so early.
“No, everything isn’t okay. We haven’t spoken since Thanksgiving, and Christmas is four days away,” she says, sounding flustered and almost tired.
“Yeah, I meant to call you.”
“I bet you have. I understand how difficult apologizing can be, especially at your age. You want to believe you know everything there is to know.”
“Yeah, I— Wait, what?”
My mother blinks, looking at me as if she has no idea what my confusion is about.
“What do you mean apologize? I have nothing to apologize for.”
“How about bringing that man to our home?”
“That man’sname is Neil.”
She rolls her eyes. “Whatever. You brought an addict into our home. Sure, he’s all dressed up now with a big title over at that rehab facility, but you and I know what he truly is. I heard about what happened at the holiday party for his company.”
Angling my head to the side, I stare at her. “How did you hear about that?”
“I have my sources. Don’t you see, Desiree? You’re doing it again.”
“Doing what again?”
“Putting blinders on to what’s happening. You did the same thing with your sister. She lied and manipulated you into believing whatever she said. And you bought it hook, line, and sinker. Even after she stole from you, lied to you, and hung you out to dry with her drug-dealing friends.”
“I don’t want to talk about this,” I say, shutting my door behind me and starting down the hall toward the stairwell that leads to the parking garage.
“Fine. Do it again. Close your eyes to the fact that you’re with a man who lies about who he is and is still drinking.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say over my shoulder, giving my mother the evil eye.
“I know that you’ll come knocking on my door when you find out the truth. I just hope for your sake it isn’t too late.” She gives me one final look before pushing ahead of me, then charging down the stairs, presumably to her own parked vehicle.
I remain standing there for a full minute, hating the depth of the impact her words have had on me. My immediate reaction is to declare her insane for even suggesting that Neil would lie to me, and the world, about who he is. Yet, memories of my past with my sister come rushing back.
Deirdre, as much as I loved her, she was a master manipulator. She knew exactly what buttons of mine to press and how to make me feel guilty for her and take her in. My mother is right. Deirdre had stolen from me. She sold my television to someone for drug money, she took petty cash out of the tin she knew I kept in my closet, and even a pair of pearl earrings my mother gave me when I turned thirteen. Yet, after all of that, I still thought I could save Deirdre.
As I trudge down the stairs and get into my car, I can’t stop the question that pushes through my mind.
Am I making the same mistake with Neil?
