“I suppose.”
“And you said …” he paused, flipping through his notepad, “if you didn’t fight Luke or vice versa, she would physically abuse you herself, correct?”
I nodded, gritting my teeth.
“Can you walk me through a scenario where that happened?” His voice softened up as he asked that question. He knew he was treading into seriously ugly territory. It was the voice of a doctor asking a patient to do something they knew the patient didn’t want to.
Do you want to get better or not?An image of Grace onstage, singing, flashed through my mind at my brain’s own question.
“I’m listening whenever you’re ready, Jacob.”
I sighed. “I’m not closing my eyes for this.”
“You don’t have to.”
I pushed out a heavy breath. “Fine. I was in eighth grade and Luke was in sixth. It was the day we came home with our report cards. I could tell in school earlier that day that Luke was dreading seeing his grades. I passed him in the hall a couple of times and he avoided making eye contact with me and I just knew. My mother picked us up from school that day. She always did on the days we got our report cards.”
I shook my head and stared out the window.
“My father was out of town on another business trip. As soon as we got in the house, she held out her hand, demanding we place the report cards in her palm. She looked over mine first and frowned but didn’t say anything. I’d gotten straight A’s and excellent remarks from all my teachers. I always did. School came natural to me, even without her constant pushing for excellence and the violence that came if I fell short. But Luke …
“School wasn’t as easy for him. He wasn’t dumb … he just didn’t enjoy it as much. It was harder for him to focus. He was naturally gifted at being more social than I was. But she did her best to beat that out of him.”
Thinking about the reports I’d read about Luke’s antisocial behavior throughout his career, I frowned. And most recently, he got into a fight with a news reporter who simply asked him a question right after his fight.
“He had a few A’s and a B and a couple of C’s one in science and the other in history. Most parents would’ve been satisfied with that, right?” I looked to Dr. Kearns but didn’t wait for his confirmation. “But not Anna Reynolds. At first, she began cursing at Luke, calling him an idiot and an embarrassment to the Reynolds name.”
“I knew I should’ve aborted you when I had the chance! But your father, no, he convinced me to keep you. Now where is he? Gone! Working. While I’m left to deal with this mess. You are a disgrace to the legacy we are trying to build. You know that’s why he works so much. Look at me while I’m talking to you!” she yelled in a fury.
“She lunged at Luke, slapping him across the face and then pulling his hair. When he tried to shield himself from being hit, she hit him harder, punching him in the ribs. Then she insisted I finish the task because she was tired.”
“Not in the face, though. I don’t need your teachers calling me asking me what the hell happened. I’ll already have to explain his face as it is. I got carried away.”
“No.” I refused for the first time as I stared down at my brother. I could already see the red welt forming on his cheek.
“What did you say to me?” She was outraged but I couldn’t stomach it any longer.
“I said no … and that resulted in the worst beating she ever gave me. I ended up with a cracked rib after she hit me with a frying pan. I walked around for weeks in pain. And when my father asked what happened once he returned home from our trip, I told him the truth. I told him his wife beat the shit out of me for not beating the hell out of Luke just because he’d gotten a couple of C’s on his report card.”
“And how did your father respond?”
I blinked at the interruption of Dr. Kearns’ voice. I was so caught up in the memory I forgot he was even there. I’d forgotten where I was. I blinked, turning to face him, returning to the present and Willow Springs Treatment Center.
“What?”
“What was your father’s reaction when you told him what happened?”
I scowled. “He told me I was overreacting. That my mother was just disciplining Luke for not living up to his full potential and I’d gotten in the way of that. I never even told him that my fucking rib was cracked, among other things.”
“What was that?”
I blinked and lifted my gaze to Dr. Kearns. “What was what?”
“The last part of your statement. What do you meanamong other things?”
My lips tightened and I stood, peering up at the clock on the wall. “I think our fifty-five minutes are up, Doc.”
“Jacob,” he called as I was halfway out the door. “Maybe it’ll be good for you to do some writing in that journal, after your meditation session.”
