Yeah, I’m in deep.
Chapter Nineteen
Janine
“I need to go shopping,” I tell Angela as I stare down at the pile of clothing lying on my bed, frowning.
“Okay, shopping for what? Are you looking for winter clothing, a new coat, boots?” Angela questions as she stands beside me.
“Everything,” I respond, turning toward her.
Her face wrinkles up curiously. “Everything,” she repeats as if to make sure she heard me correctly.
“Yes. I need a whole new wardrobe.”
“And you want to get that all in one day?”
“Well, it’s Saturday and both of our guys are working doubles this weekend. What else do you have to do? And I love your fashion sense. I’ll let you leave early if you have to go into the bar tonight. Please!” I practically beg, tugging on Angela’s hand.
A smile opens up on her face. “Where is this coming from?”
I shrug. “I just think I need a change. My wardrobe is … boring. Everything is either black or grey with some white mixed in there. It’s dull. Even all of my panties are all black.”
“Okay,thatwas a little TMI,” she giggles.
“Sorry. But I’m serious. I need your help. Your style is cute and a little on edge, but not too much.” I look over the waist high jeans and the crop top she’s wearing that shows just a touch of her honey brown abdomen. Her curly hair rests against her shoulders, and the streak of purple she had months ago is now a rose pink.
“And this is your decision, right?”
“Who else’s decision would it be?” I ask defensively, having an inkling of where this conversation is going.
“Don’t get upset. I just remember how you started changing your wardrobe in college because Matthew didn’t like when you wore too much color, or hated a particular hairstyle. I don’t want the same thing to happen.”
“It’s not.” Pausing to stare at my clothing on the bed again, I and plop down on the bed. “You’re right. I made so many concessions in my life for Matthew. I stopped wearing color because he’d told me his mother said that it was unbecoming. Whatever the hell that means. I longed to be exactly who he wanted me to in hopes that one day he’d finally see I was worthy of him and his last name. But I lost myself in all of that. This isn’t the same.
“I don’t feel like I have to conform or be perfect with Emanuel. I can just be. Now, I get to figure out who that is. And part of that starts with new clothes. So will you take me shopping or not? I’ll be a total mess in the stores if left alone.”
Angela holds up two very bland looking black shirts that I often wear to work. “Yes, you obviously need some help.”
My eyes balloon and I toss a balled up T-shirt at her. “You could’ve said something before.”
“Girl, I tried but you had your head so far up Matthew’s—”
“Okay, you don’t need to finish the rest of that sentence.”
“Great, let’s go!” Giggling, Angela wraps her arm around mine, pulling me up from the bed. “First, we need to get something to eat because I’m starving.”
“You just had breakfast not too long ago.”
“I know, and I’m hungry again.”
I give her a side-eye but don’t say anything. I grab my brown leather shoulder bag, slip into a pair of black ballet flats, and follow Angela out of my bedroom toward my front door.
“Hey, where’s your m—”
Angela’s question is cut off as soon as Janet comes barging through the door.
“Hey, Janine. Angela, right?” she questions looking between Angela and I.
