I peered over my shoulder to see him reaching for the bottle of bourbon. I grunted.He can fucking take it. “Tell the boys down at the club you fight at to enjoy it.”
“You kidding? Those assholes wouldn’t enjoy good bourbon if it bit them in the ass. I’ll keep this for me.”
I lifted my shoulder in a shrug before turning back to the window. I heard my office door open and close as Joshua departed. Sighing, I turned back to my desk to finish up the work I was supposed to be completing. However, my thoughts kept drifting back to my wife. I’d told her repeatedly that I’d loved her. And though her eyes lit up and she bit her bottom lip as she spasmed around my cock, from my words alone, it still clawed at me that she hadn’t said the words back. Deep down I knew why. She was afraid. She had a right to be considering what happened after the first time she’d said those words to me. I told myself I wouldn’t push. I’d give her time. Just not too long. I wanted…no,neededall of her. Body, mind, and soul. I was that selfish.
****
Patience
For the next week I was reduced to wearing scarves or using makeup to cover the marks left by Aaron on my neck. I was amazed at how his passion showed up on my body.
I woke up the following Tuesday morning to an empty bed. That wasn’t unusual, seeing as how Aaron was such an early riser. He and Kyle were usually down in the den working out and then going over Kyle’s readings and studies for the day. Every now and again I would peek in on the two. It warmed me all over to see how gentle and loving Aaron was with Kyle. Our son blossomed under his father’s care. The boy who hated to even say his ABC’s, wouldn’t hesitate to try to read a word out loud or recite new words he’d learned. Unfortunately, Kyle was still more shy around Kennedy and I when it came to reading but he was coming around and so much more quickly than I’d thought was possible.
When I got up to go see if Kennedy was awake and start breakfast, I found Kyle looking forlorn in the hallway.
“Hey, buddy. Where’s Daddy?” I asked, brushing a stray curl out of his face.
Kyle’s little shoulders rose and fell. “I don’t know.”
I gave him an odd look. I guessed Aaron must’ve had to leave early for work that day instead.
“Well, how about you come help Mommy cook breakfast?”
“Okay,” he agreed, but his usual enthusiasm wasn’t there.
On our way down, I tried to explain to Kyle that his father had a big, important job and sometimes that meant he wasn’t going to have as much time to spend with him as he’d like. I think he understood, but the sad look in his hazel eyes told me he still hated it. I bit back my own anger at Aaron. The least he could’ve done was told Kyle he wouldn’t be able to work together that morning.
I fixed a breakfast of pancakes, sausage, and fruit before telling Kyle to go upstairs and wake his sister. A few minutes later the pair were barreling into the kitchen ready to eat. It was the first time in a long time that it was just the three of us for breakfast. Though I’d always loved the days when the three of us would eat breakfast together, without Aaron there, something felt like it was missing.
The children ate and then I sent them upstairs to brush their teeth and get dressed while I took a quick shower and prepared myself for work. We were having preschoolers from Excelor Academy come over for story-time that day. I loved reading to children that young. Though Kyle and Kennedy were still young, it made me yearn for the days when they were babies or toddlers. They were so much more independent now than they had been just a few years prior. It felt like forever ago. I pressed my hand to my belly, remembering Aaron’s words the almost week and a half prior. I wanted more children as well.
I stepped into the doors of the library, shaking my head to ward off those thoughts. I was angry at Aaron for standing Kyle up that morning. I didn’t need to think about bringing any more children into the picture until he understood that he couldn’t drop our children whenever work got busy.
“Morning, Patience.” Moira smiled as I stuffed my shoulder bag behind the front counter.
“Morning. What’re you reading?” I inquired, stepping closer to look down at the book she was thumbing through.
“It’s a book on Mandarin. One of our members ordered it from the main library.”
“That’s interesting.” I continued to look at the integral shapes and symbols that formed words in Mandarin.
“Look, there’s your name,” Moira laughed, pointing to one of the symbols.
My eyebrows dipped as I stared at the symbol. “That’s the Mandarin word for Patience,” I stated disbelievingly.
“It is. Beautiful, isn’t it?”
I swallowed, nodding my head. It was also familiar. I’d seen that symbol everyday since Aaron had been back in my life.
“Look.The Mandarin symbol for patience is made up of two separate symbols, one of which means the blade of a knife, and the other means heart. This symbolizes how difficult it is to practice patience…”Moira read the meaning behind the symbols. “They’ve got that right,” she mumbled. “Patience is hard as hell to practice sometimes, especially with some of the patrons that come in here.” She giggled.
I swallowed down the lump in my throat and threw a smirk her way. My mind was far past thinking about any of the library’s patrons. But I pushed away those thoughts. Thankfully, Moira soon closed the book and moved on to discussing our schedule for the day and what needed to get done. I retrieved the cart that held the returns and began organizing them to place back on the shelves. The morning went rather quickly, and ended with the visit from the preschoolers.
That afternoon a group of teens from one of the local public schools piled in after having a half day, many of whom needed to conduct research for a project. I was surprised at this day and age many teens even still used the library for research, but then I was informed that the teachers had required at least two books for this particular project. That reminded me to bring up an idea I’d been thinking of to Moira.
I thought it’d be a good idea for the library to host a tech and research series, open to the public but geared to many of the underserved pre-teens in the city. I told her of a similar series I’d been a part of while living in Oakland, where the tech gap continued to grow between the underserved and the more privileged students. She agreed to look more into it if I presented her with a put-together proposal. I planned on putting one together over the next few evenings.
I left work that day feeling accomplished, and as if I was doing some good for the community. Helping people, especially young children, discover a love of reading was my passion. It weighed on me incredibly heavy when I couldn’t do the same for my own son. But seeing his growth under his father’s tutelage quickly pushed those feelings aside. The reminder of that thought, sparked my anger again at Aaron. I’d sent him numerous texts throughout the day, and called at least twice but to no avail. Usually, he responded within a few minutes of a text. I knew he was okay, lest I would’ve heard from one of his security, or Joshua who worked with him daily. I figured I’d just take it up with him later that evening after the children were asleep.
