I glanced back over my shoulder before turning the knob and entering. My stomach dropped when I saw my father lying in the bed, appearing so lifeless. He had tubes coming from his arms, chest, and nose. His chestnut skin looked almost ashen in color.
“Dad,” I called lightly.
His eyelids fluttered open. “Patience.” His voice sounded so weak.
“How’re you feeling?” I asked, taking his hand in mine.
“I’ve been better,” he chuckled lightly but stopped short needing to take a breath before continuing.
“Don’t try to speak. You need to save your strength so you can get out of here. The twins are looking forward to their next visit.”
A smile touched his lips. “They’re so precious. Thank you for letting me spend time with them.”
I lowered my gaze from his to the floor. I suddenly regretted my decision to not tell him about Kyle and Kennedy before recently.
“Don’t make that face. Everything happens as it should. You did what was right by your children. A mother protects her children. That’s all yours ever wanted for you.”
I lifted my head, surprised. My father never spoke of my mother to me. Save for a few stories here and there and some pictures of her when I was younger, it was as if she didn’t exist. As if I’d appeared out of thin air instead of being born on the same day my mother died.
“She loved you so much. I can’t wait to tell her how lovely you turned out when I get up there to see her.”
I frowned. He was talking crazily.
“Shh.” I leaned in a pressed a kiss to his forehead. “You need to rest now. The doctors should be in soon and tell us what’s going on. We’ll figure out how to get you well again.” I smiled at him. “I’ll sit with you until they do.”
“I’d like that.”
I pulled up the low sitting chair that was in the corner of the room to his bed and sat, wrapping his hand in mine. My father floated off to sleep. I hadn’t realized I, too, had dozed off until Wilhelmina shook me by the shoulder.
“Patience, why don’t you go get some coffee while I wait for the doctors?”
I sat up, looking at the clock on the wall. It was close to three o’clock. I’d already texted Michelle to see if she could have her mother pick the kids up with Diego.
“Okay,” I whispered, before heading out the door. I started in the direction of the cafeteria but just opted for a walk outside. Though it was fall and the weather was getting cooler, there was still plenty of sunlight and warmth outside. I pulled out my phone to send another text to Aaron. He’d called, telling me he’d be at the hospital as soon as he was out of his meetings for the day. I tried to tell him not to bother but he was insistent.
By the time I’d made it back up to my father’s hospital room, I was glad Aaron would be showing up at the hospital. I’d need his strength.
“I’m so sorry, Patience,” Wilhelmina cried as soon as the elevator doors opened and she saw me come off. “There was nothing the doctors could do,” she got out in between tears, before falling into my arms. “He’s gone.”
****
Nobody likes attending funerals, but if you live this life long enough, you can bank on attending at least a few. As the reverend prayed while lowering my father’s casket into the ground, I mentally counted the number of funerals I’d been to. There was a friend of mine who’d died in a car accident in college. A cousin of mine when I was a teenager. My father’s funeral now made three that I’d attended. I wondered if he’d taken me to my mother’s funeral. That would make four but I doubted it. Then I wondered why I was thinking about it at all. Shouldn’t I be crying or something? I glanced around and saw Wilhelmina’s shoulders shaking as she sobbed. My own mother-in-law had tears in her eyes. Robert’s expression gave away his grief. But me? I felt…numb. How do you mourn someone you barely even knew?
“Come on,” Aaron urged, taking me by the waist once it was time to toss the dirt onto the casket and leave for the repast. It was held at Townsend Manor.
The entire ride over, I was silent. Feeling only Aaron’s hold around my hand. I listened but didn’t respond when Deborah commented on how beautiful the ceremony was. Robert had indeed spoke quite eloquently of his and my father’s school days together. I moved through the rest of the afternoon in that state, seeing but not really seeing, eating but not really tasting.
“How’re you holding up?”
I stared at my mother-in-law, not for the first time noting how beautiful she was.
“I’m okay. How’s Robert doing? I know he and my father were good friends.”
Deborah looked to the other side of the living room where they were. Robert was speaking with Aaron. I caught Aaron’s eye and gave him a small smile before turning back to his mother.
“Robert’s holding up. He’ll miss their annual fishing trips.”
I nodded and cleared my throat.
