The air caught in my lungs as my mouth dropped open. It was almost as if I forgot how to breathe. Thank God for automatic body responses because due to no mental effort on my part, my lungs began to work again.
“Wh-what’s happening here?” I nearly got out on a whisper.
“I’m pretty sure it’s obvious,” his blunt reply came.
I cleared my throat because I had no words to say in response.
“I’ll see you when I get back. Don’t hesitate to reach out to Carter or Aaron if you need anything.Anythingat all, all right, Kay? My brothers can be assholes but they’ll be there if you need them.”
Why did his words feel like a punch to the gut?
“Why’re you extending yourself so much for me?” The question slipped out before I could stop it.
“I asked myself the same thing.”
I should’ve been caught off-guard by his honesty, but I wasn’t. Joshua was nothing if forthright and honest.
“You left town without so much as a fuck off—”
“I told you why—”
“Yes, you explained. And I get it. I don’t like it but I get it. It’s over and done with. You’re back in town and needed something I could help with.”
“Two things,” I retorted quickly. Too quickly.
“Two?”
“The self-defense teaching.”
“Youneededto learn self-defense.” It was a statement but I heard the pensive way it came out. He was considering my words carefully. “Why hadn’t you taken classes before? Most major cities have self-defense classes.”
Yeah, and just about everyone is taught by police officers.Thankfully, I caught myself before that admission could spill from my lips.
“I, uh, just never felt comfortable until now.” A partial truth that was met by total silence on the other end. Not silence in the way when the person on the other end has checked out. No, silence that meant the wheels were turning in Joshua’s mind. I could just imagine his green eyes, narrowing on me, deciphering every word I’d just said.
“I’ll be back in a few days. We’ll continue our lessons then. In the meantime, reach out to Carter or Aaron if you need to.”
I nodded even though he couldn’t see me.
“I’ll give you a call tomorrow night.”
And just like that, the opposite end of the phone went dead. I was already looking forward to the next evening. That was when I realized, that hearing Joshua’s voice was the safest I’d felt all day.
“Tomorrow,” I repeated out loud to the empty house. I glanced around, standing to go prepare the very meal I’d told him I was having for dinner. It felt easier moving through his home after that conversation. Out of nowhere, I found myself smiling at the idea of hearing him again the next night. It occurred to me just how much I’d missed Joshua over the years.
And then it hit me like a ton of bricks.
Guilt is heavy like that. I wondered if the stories my mother told me about loved ones who’ve passed on, watching us from heaven, were true. Because it was starting to feel like I could sense my best friend’s eyes on me at that very moment.
****
Joshua
“What actual the fuck?” I growled staring at my phone when I saw Aaron’s name pop up onto my screen. I knew this wasn’t a social call. It’d been five days since I left on my business trip to Washington state, and even though as head of Townsend Industries he was privy to all of the updates I gave, my brother wanted to discuss the issues I ran into face-to-face. Normally, I wouldn’t have a problem with that, but it was just after six p.m. on a Friday and I would’ve much rather been stepping into my own home to see Kay’s face.
I’d never been this damned anxious to get home from a business trip. Yeah, the comforts of my own bed were appealing. But what I really wanted to see washer.
We’d talked every night I’d been gone. Every evening after business meeting after another bullshit business meeting, handling problem after problem, I’d gone to my hotel, completely depleted. Telling myself all I needed was a shower and a warm bed, but somehow I found myself dialing Kay’s cell, feeling reenergized whenever I heard her breathless “hey” as she answered.
