“It’s okay, you can be happy. I’m good.” I knew he was concerned about my reaction.
He peered at me for a few more seconds.
“We’re having a baby.” I smiled for the first time, truly feeling excited, despite my current position on the floor in front of the toilet.
He looked back at the pregnancy test and the tension in his jaw released. The edges of his eyes crinkled as those lips that I loved so much spread wide into the most magnificent grin. A lump in my throat formed to see how excited he was. He pulled me to him, pressing his lips to my forehead and helped me to stand up. When I nearly stumbled again, he bent down to carry me to the bed.
“I’ll have to call my doctor in the morning to make an appointment to see how far along I am. I can probably get in tomorrow on my lunch break. Her office isn’t too far from—”
“Lunch break?” He looked at me like I’d lost my mind. “You’re not going to work tomorrow. You’ve been sick for days, barely eaten. You can hardly make it to the bathroom on your own.”
I gave him a hard look. “I’ll be fine.”
“Yeah, you will, ’cause we’re going to the doctor first thing in the morning, and then you’re bringing your ass home.”
“Xavier—”
“I’m not bending on this. You’re carrying my baby, and you’re sick. Until we know everything’s all right with the both of you, you’re not going to work.” He said that as if it was the final word.
Feeling too weak to argue back, I merely turned over in bed and lay down. I wasn’t planning on missing another day of work, but he didn’t need to know that just then.
****
“Congratulations.” The technician in my doctor’s office smiled at us. “Let’s see if we can hear a heartbeat.” I looked over at Xavier, whose face was a mask of hesitation and eagerness as he stood over the tech.
“Can you hold my hand?” I asked, reaching out for him. I was relieved when he moved from the foot of the table I was perched on to hold my hand. I saw the tech’s shoulders slump a little bit, relieved to not have Xavier standing over her any longer.
After waking up this morning—after another night in which I’d gotten very little sleep, due to running to the bathroom to throw up—Xavier insisted on calling my gyno and getting in first thing in the morning. Thankfully, she was able to get me in. We came together, and I did my best to hold it together and not come across as poorly as I felt. I had managed to get down some orange juice and a few crackers, but was feeling weak. My resolve to make it into work was waning, but I still planned on going in spite of Xavier’s protests.
The tech began probing my lower abdomen. I squeezed Xavier’s hand. He was my anchor. I was feeling so much, I couldn’t identify how I was feeling at all. He must’ve read my anxiety as he leaned down, pressed a kiss to my forehead, and whispered in my ear how much he loved me. I inhaled his natural scent, which was one of the only smells that didn’t make me nauseous these days. He chose not to wear his usual cologne, and I was grateful as his natural smell helped to bring me comfort.
“There it is.” I heard it and turned back to the technician. My heart nearly stopped when I realized the constant thumping sound I was hearing was our baby’s.Our baby.The entire room became blurry behind my sheen of tears. Xavier’s body stiffened next to me.
“Oh,” the tech stated, sending alarm bells through me.
“What? Something wrong?” Xavier spoke up.
She looked up at us, cutting off the handheld probe. She smiled, but there was something behind it. “No, just give me a moment.” She held up her finger and turned to head out the door.
My heart rate increased, and I looked up at Xavier, who was now pacing.
“It’s okay. You heard her say everything was okay,” I tried to comfort him now.
“Yeah, but I don’t like the way she rushed her ass outta here. Who does that? Matter fact, let me go…”
He was cut off as the door opened and my doctor stepped in with the technician behind her. The smile she wore put me at ease a little, but I was still feeling anxious.
“Dr. Simmons, is everything alright?” I asked.
“I’m going to do a second ultrasound.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Yes, just lie back for me.” She pressed her hand against my shoulder. “Xavier, go hold Chanel’s hand,” she ordered.
Xavier gave her a suspicious look but did as she asked.
“This is a little cold,” she stated, placing the cool jelly on my stomach again.
