“How wasyourday?” he asked, rounding the couch and pulling me into his embrace, pressing a kiss to my cheek then lips.
It just got so much better,I wanted to say, but he had that worried look on his face. The same one he’d worn every day for the last two weeks whenever he looked at me.
“It was fine. Only one breakdown today.”
He paused in the middle of removing his tie to stare at me.
“I’m kidding.” I held up my hand, giving him a half-smirk.
He continued to stare cautiously.
“Babe. It was a joke,” I defended, stepping closer, wrapping my arms around his waist. “But I have been thinking. It’s time for me to go back to work. Work has been generous enough to give me time off—”
“You deserved that time off and more.” He frowned down at me.
“I know,” I quickly added. “But there are things I need to take care of in the office. I can’t do everything remotely. I have a very important meeting with a client next week.” That was Michele’s case, and it was a meeting I’d put off for the last couple of weeks. Thankfully she was understanding, but I knew she wanted to get this divorce over as soon as possible. I’d been thinking it was time to get back to work for a few days now, but I held off on telling Xavier because I knew he wouldn’t be too keen on the idea, and the frown he was wearing told me I was correct in my assessment.
“And why can’t another lawyer handle it?”
I tilted my head toward the ceiling, trying to gather my patience as I still held him by the waist. “Because this is my client. Besides, two other lawyers have been handling the bulk of my cases over the last two weeks, and I can’t keep asking them to cover for me. My clients need me, and frankly, sitting around the house all day is not the best coping mechanism.”
He brought up his firm hands to begin massaging my shoulders. “Have you been thinking about that night? Maybe you need to speak to the counselor I told you about.” His forehead wrinkled in concern as he spoke. The previous week he’d brought home the business card of a grief counselor whose name he’d gotten from a business associate. He suggested I call a day or two after the funerals for Anne Marie and Noah. I took the card and told him I’d think about it, but hadn’t given it much thought since. I knew I couldn’t avoid the feelings of guilt and fear that continued to linger, but being there with him, I’d been in so much of a bubble, I somehow convinced myself it wasn’t necessary.
“No. I haven’t had more breakdowns. I’ve been...okay. I just think it’s time to get back to work. I know you’re tired of having me in your space all the time,” I joked.
His frown deepened.
Maybe that wasn’t the right thing to say.
“Why would you say something like that?”
I turned my head, avoiding his eyes. “I was just kidding.”
“Why would you kid like that? Have I given any indication I want you to leave?”
“No.”
“Okay, then why would say that?”
Damn, this conversation was going left. I’d only meant it to be a joke.
“Babe,” I said, pulling him to the couch and sitting on his lap. “I was justjoking about you wanting to get rid of me. You’ve never really given me that indication.” On the contrary, most of the time, it seemed as if he never wanted me to leave, which scared the hell out of me when I found that thought enticing.
“But I do need to get back to work. My career is a part of me, and getting back into the swing of things will help me to cope. I haven’t been to dance class in two weeks. If Gabby didn’t call me nearly every day, I swear she’d think you’d kidnapped me. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. Truly. But it’s time I got back to the real world.”
I stared down at him imploringly, hoping he wouldn’t have any more objections. I needed this, and I didn’t want to argue or fight over it. He’d been so wonderful the last few weeks, and short of having had the whole ordeal never happen in the first place, I couldn’t ask for much more.
He leaned back, resting his head against the back of the couch. I smirked, knowing that was his silent acceptance.
“Don’t smirk like you’ve won something.”
I ducked my head so he wouldn’t see how my smile grew.
“What day are you going back?”
“Monday. I called Liza and let her know. I have my meeting Monday afternoon.”
“Oh, so you already had this planned out?”
