“Nothing to do with us? Are you serious? Did you hear what I heard? Our parents had an affairwhilemy mother was still alive!” she yelled, eyes watering.
“Yeah, I understood that. Still, that has not a damn thing to do with you and me.”
“It has everything to do with me!” she yelled.
“How?” I wasn’t understanding. Yes, it was foul as hell what our parents did, but that didn’t affect the feelings I had for Chanel, or even Jason for that matter. He was still my best friend, and Chanel was still the woman I wanted in my bed at night, and waking up to in the morning. With her stubborn ass.
She rubbed her forehead, obviously feeling frustrated. “Because it does.”
“Nah, Chanel. You’re one of the best lawyers in this damn city. ‘Because’ isn’t a good enough explanation.” I was growing pissed, too. I knew she was using this to put distance between us. I could feel it.
“Because!” she yelled. “He was my goddamn father, and he couldn’t be bothered while I was growing up. He was too busy running around with any woman who’d have him. As long as that woman wasn’t his wife.” She stepped closer to me. “And knowing your mother was one of those women is just too much. I don’t want any part of this.”
The words were like a knife slicing through my chest. I grit my teeth. I ran my hand down my jaw and let out a sardonic laugh. I took a threatening step toward Chanel. She backed up, and I took another step. We did that until her back was against the wall next to her front door.
“You’re fucking full of shit.”
She gasped.
“You know it, and I know it,” I continued. “That shit between our parents has nothing to do with us. You and me.” I pointed between our chests. “Fuck all that bullshit in the past. You’re trying to put distance between us, and you’re using this shit to do it. I’ll only allow you but so long to keep this up.
“Right now, I’m going to go check on my mother and give you space you so clearly want, but this ain’t over by any stretch of the imagination.” I pressed a hard kiss to her forehead before throwing her door open and stalking down the hallway. I fucking hated how out of control this woman made me feel. I usually had no problem keeping it cool and collected on the outside. Even in the most strenuous business negotiations, I rarely lost it, but this thing with Chanel. At that moment, I was feeling more pissed off than I had in a long time, and I knew it was because I felt out of control.
I met the waiting driver of the town car downstairs at the front of Chanel’s building. Instead of directing him to my home, I gave him the address of my mother’s house. If I wasn’t going to get the answers I wanted from one woman tonight, I might as well get some answers from the other woman in my life.
****
“Hey baby, I figured you’d be over sometime tonight,” my mother greeted as she opened the door.
I took in her weary expression. She’d changed into a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. In her eyes shone of the shame she was feeling. That hurt more than anything, knowing my mother felt shame or embarrassment. I stepped over the threshold and pulled her into an embrace.
“Hey, Mama.” I removed my tux jacket and threw it over the coatrack next to the door.
“Tea?” my mom asked as she headed toward the kitchen.
“Yeah, sure.” My mother always made tea when we needed to talk.
“You know where the honey and lemon are.”
I turned and grabbed a pre-sliced lemon out of the drawer in her fridge and the honey out of one of the cupboards above the sink. It was silent as we let our tea cool down. I sat on a stool across from my mother.
“The renovators did a good job in here,” I said, as if this was my first time seeing her kitchen since she’d moved back in. Although, the last time I had seen it was with Chanel, and my mind had been otherwise occupied. Thinking about Chanel reminded me of the reason I was there so late in the first place.
“You want to tell me what happened?” I asked.
My mother’s eyes lifted to meet mine as she lowered her tea cup. “I didn’t go there tonight to start anything. I would never do that. You know that, right?”
“Of course. What happened?”
She stared off into the distance. “John at work had to cancel, so at the last minute, I was asked to stand in for him. Anyway, I knew you’d be there. I didn’t know Elliott and his wife were going to be there. It’s been a few years since I last saw him. At one point in the night, he asked to speak with me. We found a private—well, what I thought was a private hallway. He wanted to know if I’d told you about what happened between us. I told him of course not. I guess he was concerned about Chanel finding out, since you and she…” She trailed off, looking at me. “But well, she’d been in the bathroom I guess, and you know the rest.”
I nodded. “Mama, I get that part of the story. What I want to know is what happenedbefore? You had an affair with my best friend’s father?”Thatwas what I couldn’t comprehend. This was the woman who’d taught me everything I knew about being a good human being, doing right by others, and living by one’s moral compass.
“I don’t know what you want me to tell you, Xavier.”
“How about the truth? Let’s start there.” There was an obvious bite in my tone, but I kept it respectful. She was still my mother. The woman who made me the man I am today.
“Uh, it started while you were away in college. Elliott and I knew each other, of course, through you two boys, but nothing had ever happened. I knew his reputation and knew he was very much a married man. But a few years after you moved away for school, he and I took on a client together. I was asked to come in and help with the accounting of one of his clients. He and I ended up working well together, and one thing led to another. It lasted for six months, but I broke it off when I realized what I was doing. I just got caught up. You were out of the house, and I suddenly had all this free time, and I began compensating with work, and then him. But I saw him out with another woman one night—a woman who wasn’t Chanel’s and Jason’s mother—and realized how trifling my behavior was. We’ve rarely spoken since.”
