“Jesse?”
“I heard it when it hit the water, but when I got to the surface, it was all I could do to fucking breathe. Like my whole throat seized up.”
“Laryngospasm,” Rafferty said matter-of-factly. “From trying to suck in oxygen from the cold air.”
“Yeah, well, whatever you call it, it hurt like a son of a bitch.”
“And the officers?” he asked carefully.
“They were dead on impact.” I needed him tobelieve this next part. “I wouldn’t have let them drown if I thought I could’ve saved them.”
He looked up from his tiles and reached out, closing his hand over mine once more. “Hey. I believe you. I think it’s a miracleyousurvived the crash. That you didn’t have to fight off your uncle after surviving all of that.”
I couldn’t tell if there was a question in that, but I felt I had to come clean.
“I did seemy uncle.” I arranged the tiles a bit more with my free hand. “He didn’t make it out of the lake.”
I let the truth of what I’d done hang wordlessly between us. Rafferty dipped his chin, a sign of acceptance.
“Probably for the best.”
It was, but I feared the price I’d pay if Kyler ever found out. Despite the long-standing issues I’d had with my uncle—he was a ruthless asshole and a homophobe—Ky loved his dad and would be devastated by his death.
That wasn’t the reason I stayed quiet in this moment though. As much as I wanted Rafferty to think I was a good person, I knew I wasn’t.
“Hey,” he said, squeezing my hand. “He was trying to kill you. That’s endgame. It was either him or you. And I am perfectly fine with the way things ended up.”
I chanced a look in his direction and saw only honesty.
“I really hate killing people,” I said quietly as Imade a few other adjustments to my tiles. “But some people need killing.”
I was surprised when he laughed.
“What?” Rafferty leaned forward. “Did you think you would shock someone in law enforcement by saying that? Weknowit’s true.”
“You say that, but you put me in jail for taking out a real scumbag.”
“That’s also true.” He sent me a sad smile. “I did.”
I tapped a tile on the table. “And what do you think of the people who take out the trash? Are they good guys or bad guys?”
I held my breath, waiting for his answer.
He took a moment, adjusting his own tiles. Then he looked me in the eye.
“Yes.”
11
RAFFERTY
After spending onlya few hours with Jesse, I was questioning everything I thought I knew about the man. I’d known he was more than his family, but I was surprised by how much he seemed to crave my good opinion.
I wasn’t sure what to make of that.
You sure as hell know what you want it to mean.
Jesse had been light and funny this morning, but as the day progressed, the consequences of his decisions seemed to weigh him down. And I wondered at what point he’d decide to run instead of going back to the Rangers.
