My hand went to my chest, this time far less dramatically. As happy as it made me to be surrounded by so many queer couples, they served as a reminder of how far removed I was from what they had, creating an ache down in my very core.
“You okay?” Ren asked, putting his hand on my arm. “Major said some asshole had broken your heart?”
“Oh, uh . . .” I turned to the side, wiping a few tears. “Kit—the heartbreaker—is a good man. But he’s straight, or thought he was.” I threw my hands up and let the tears fall. “Until he met me.”
Ren gave me a respectful once over. “I can see how that would happen.”
I laughed and wiped more tears as he gestured to the rowdy group of friends. “Look at how much these men love their husbands.”
I took in each couple—obvious by their closeness—and saw what he saw. So much affection and passion. “The dream,” I murmured.
“Yes, but before the dream is often the nightmare.” Ren smiled sadly as his eyes returned to the happy group. “Not a single one of them had it easy. My son lost his father right as he was falling in love. A few of his friends lost their families because of who they fell in love with. Hen almost lost his life.”
“Sounds like they really had to fight for what they have.”
“We all did.” He shrugged. “So, maybe—if this man is truly good, and someone you want to be with—then perhaps it’s possible to love him through the hard part.”
I swallowed, my voice caught in my throat. I could only nod at his hopeful words.
Ren straightened his shoulders, then offered me his elbow. “Okay, enough of that. Let’s enjoy our evening, shall we?”
I sniffed, then wrapped my elbow around his. “You understand I’ll need a selfie with Hendrix Cavanaugh for my socials, right?”
“Oh, Hen’ll love that.”
I hadn’t realized Hen, as his friends called him, was going to play with his band. In the end, I was glad I’d pushed through the exhaustion, and by the time we were done, I had a few more friends.
Major and Ren walked me back to my rental, and I got another of Major’s healing hugs before I let myself in and crawled into bed. The crisp sheets and the soft pillows felt like heaven, and I fell asleep within minutes.
I wokeup more refreshed than I’ve been in a while, still smiling about the fun I had last night. While I’d never been ashamed about being a sugar baby, I’d allowed the lifestyle to become all-encompassing, and as a result hadn’t had many genuine friendships. Between the visit to Rebel Sky and last night, I’d made more friendly acquaintances in the last twenty-four hours than I had in the last five years.
I still didn’t know how to hold joy in one hand and uncertainty in the other, but I was willing to try.
I got up and took a shower, needing to set aside my brain for a moment. After changing into my comfy clothes, I stepped outside. This property was such a smart concept, especially on a gorgeous morning like today. A few folks were out, either around the community fireplace, or sipping coffee on their tiny front porches, and it was lovely. As I stretched, my foot nudged against something and I looked down. Huh. They’d delivered the breakfast basket, even though I’d declined that option to save on cash.
Peeking inside, I wished I could enjoy the homemade drop biscuits and fresh squeezed orange juice, but money was money, and I didn’t want to be charged for this. I went inside and called the office.
“This is Claire. How can I help you?”
“Hi, Claire. This is Skylar Whitmore in room 102. I got the fancy breakfast basket, even though I hadn’t ordered it.”
“You’re friends with Mr. Baker, are you not, Mr. Whitmore?”
“Kit Baker?”
“Yes. He owns this property.”
“Oh, I didn’t realize . . .”
“Mr. Baker likes to take care of his friends. He wanted us to make sure you were set up with breakfast and also asked us to comp your stay.”
I looked outside the window at the charming property and found myself completely unsurprised that this place was Kit’s brainchild.
“Well, this is a wonderful surprise. I hadn’t meant to take advantage . . .”
“Oh, no, Mr. Whitmore. Mr. Baker does this all the time.”
“Thank you so much, Claire. I’ll have to let him know how much I love it out here.”
