Why the fuck did I tell Luke anything?
I looked around for my phone. I needed to message him. Tell him to keep his damn mouth shut.
You can trust Luke. He’s quiet like you.
Unable to listen to even my own reason, I inched out from under Skylar, sucking in a breath the second I was free. Sitting on the side of the bed, my feet planted like concrete blocks on the floor, I curled over, trying like the devil to not hyperventilate.
Skylar murmured in his sleep, and I stiffened, sneaking a look over my shoulder. He rearranged himself and fell straight back to sleep.A nice trick if you can do it.
I swung my head around, taking in everything. Our clothes were strewn everywhere. Anyone could walk in and guess what we’d gotten up to. I rose, dizzy. Picking up my jeans, I put them on and patted my pockets, finding my phone. That simple movement was enough to have me grabbing a chair so I wouldn’t fall over.
As soon as I was able, I stumbled into the bathroom, avoiding the mirror as I took care of business, then washed my hands and face. I stared into the sink for a full minute before I finally had the courage to look at myself.
I was haggard and some shade of green I ain’t ever seen before. It was still me, though. I just didn’t feel like I was in my body.What the hell did that even mean?
I wondered what Skylar and Sam had talked about when they went on their little tour of Rebel Sky.Had they talked about me?
I didn’t know all of Sam’s history, but I knew enough to know that there were some similarities.Did Skylar think I was his sugar daddy now? Was he going to ask me for money?
No, stop it.
That’s not him.
Stop freaking out.
I let out a dry, nauseated laugh.
The thing people always appreciated about me, at least what they said out loud, was that I was measured. In control, always. Letting my actions do the talking for me. Exactly like a cowboy should be.
I stared once again into the abyss—the mirror, that is. My hair a mess, water dripping from my chin, my stomach roiling. I felt anything but measured, and I sure as hell wasn’t in control.
Unable to handle the lost look in my eyes, I turned around and set my butt against the edge of the sink. Slipping my phone out of my pocket, I found Luke’s number, the one he’d given me just this morning.
Me: I know I don’t have to say it, but can you make sure to keep our conversation to yourself?
Oh, God. I had gone right from that conversation to throwing myself at Skylar, hadn’t I? What must Sky think of me? He’d talked about hook-up apps. Was this only a hookup to him? Had I turned my entire world upside down for ahookup?
Jesus. I leaned forward, barely catching myself up with my hands on my knees, mashing my phone against the aching joint.
The damn thing dinged, and I stood, so dizzy I had to lean my butt back against the sink.
Luke: Of course. As someone who was outed against my will, I can promise you I haven’t even told my husband.
Luke: Are you okay?
Pfft.
Me: No.
That was . . . fuck. That was probably too honest.
Luke: Do you want to talk?
Me: No.
Luke: Understood. I’m here for you when you’re ready.
Luke: It’s okay to freak out a little about admitting to someone else how you’re feeling.
