“Mostly? What does that mean?”
I didn’t want to make fun of the panic in his voice, so I modulated my tone. “Mostly because the vast majority of their diet is plant-based, but they are opportunistic omnivores.”
“Opportunistic . . . what? Are you trying to terrify me?”
I stifled my laugh. “No. I’m saying that as long as you aren’t a plant, a bug, or a dead carcass, you’re probably fine.”
“I feel bathed in the warmth of your concern, cowboy.”
“I promise, Sky. She’s not going to hurt you.”
“Then why does she want to get into the cabin?”
“She’s probably just curious. Did you do anything to draw her attention?”
“Well, I was about to take a shower so I could get ready for our— er, for you to take me to see the Bronco. But there was another enormous bag of feed in the stall, along with some prehistoric looking plant that took up all the space in the universe. I wrangled the plant out on the porch and dragged the bag of feed to the barn, but then I guess I ran the bag over something sharp, which then made me real popular with the animals.”
“What’d you do with the feed bag?” I asked, suddenly concerned that the sanctuary’s animals were gorging themselves on dangerous amounts of food.
“I got it into the barn. Thankfully, most of the animals stayed a polite distance away, but this one little tiny demon teenage deer broke from the pack. And, like, I tried to be chill about it, you know? But it turns out you can’t run and be chill, or whatever, so she followed me while eating, and I barely made it into the cabin alive.”
I chewed on my lower lip, loving both his over the top narrative, and that he called me when he was afraid. Not Rowdy. Not Woody. Not one of his old sugar daddies. Me.
“Can you send me a picture of this teenage demon deer?” I asked, barely keeping the laughter out of my voice.
“Are you making fun of me?”
I might not have hidden my amusement as well as I’d hoped.
I cleared my throat and put on my most serious tone. “No, not at all. I’m taking you very seriously. I do, however, like to know what I’m working with before I give you any advice.”
“Fine.”
He kept me on the line as he took the picture and texted it to me, and I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw the deer who’d been terrorizing him.
“Youaremaking fun of me!”
“Okay, okay. Iammaking fun of you, but only a very little bit,” I admitted. “That’s not a teenage demon deer. That’s a Sika, and she’s pregnant, which is why she went after the food, even though she doesn’t know you.”
“Somebody knocked up a teenage deer? That’s awful!”
I held the phone away while I snorted.
“I can hear you,” moaned the tinny voice on the other side. “Stop laughing at me!”
“She’s a full-grown deer, sweetheart. And I think she really is just curious. I bet if you go sit on the porch, she’ll either run away or sniff you. Either way, she’s not going to eat you.”
“You want me to go out there with a wild animal?”
“Darling, I hate to say this, but you moved onto an exotic wildlife sanctuary. You are, quite literally, surrounded by wild animals.”
His frustrated sigh made me want to pull him close and soothe him.
“Shit,” he said, interrupting my errant thoughts. “I thought they’d keep their distance from me. I thought I gave off ano animalsvibe.”
“Oh, honey. You are far too shiny and pretty for that. Doesn’t matter where you go, every animal, human and otherwise, is going to notice you.”
There was silence on the other line, and I rolled back the words I’d just said. Surely it was okay to say he was pretty, right?
