We went to his brother’s again just last week, and the difference could not be more night and day. Gideon walked in with Judi on his shoulders while the three dogs circled him, wagging their tails, patiently waiting for his affection. He sat down in the middle of them and laughed as they snuffled at him. Finally, they gave him licks and then ran off and played—so gently—with Judi.
That was when I knew I couldn’t hold off any longer.
I talked about it with Andrea. Tonight would be the night I told him how I felt.
Gideon
Not gonna lie. I was really proud of the work I’d been doing with dogs. Judi was a completely safe dog to me, and I was never afraid of her. Even better, we decided that on days when Judi wasn’t needed in the office, she would stay here to keep me company while I wrote. I may have included a funny-looking poodle in my latest work in progress, but I hadn’t told Alfie yet.
As for my brother’s dogs, they feltmostlysafe. I still had to give myself a pep talk before walking into his house, but Reuben had them very well trained.
They didn’t jump on me today, and when I sat down, they were so loving. Like they knew I was someone who needed a little extra care. And last week, when they were so gentle with Judi…fuck, that was amazing.
Stranger dogs were a different animal, of course, but the more I saw dogs reacting to my energy, the more I realized that being afraid created a terrible feedback loop. I didn’t always have much control over it, so I wasn’t too hard on myself, but understanding how my energy impacted them helped me to calm down.
And Alfie…well, he was the reason I’d been pushing so hard.
I loved that man with every bit of my heart and soul. I probably should’ve told him earlier, but I didn’t want to frighten him with the intensity of my feelings.
Because they were that. Intense, forever feelings.
I hadn’t even said the words, and yet…I’d looked at websites. The kind that offered rings. For some reason, that hadn’t scared me one little bit.
When I walked into my dining room with the steaks, Alfie had this huge, beautiful salad on the table, and Judi was hanging out on the poof in my living room. Seeing Alfie and Judi in my house made me realize that it wasn’t even my house anymore. It was ours. A sense of calm satisfaction filled my chest.
“What’s this smile?” Alfie asked, taking the meat platter from my hands and setting it on the table.
I cupped his jaw, mesmerized by his eyes. “God, I love you,” I said, not overthinking it.
Huh.
I wasn’t expecting a scowl.
“Shit. Should I have not said that?”
“No, you big oaf!” Alfie wrinkled his nose. “I mean, yes, I’m glad you said it, but you stole my thunder!”
Was that… Was my manpouting?
“I…what?”
“Tonight was going to be the night. I was going to say how much I loved you and tell you that you’re amazing.”
“So, you love me too?” I asked, grinning.
He narrowed his eyes at me. “Yes, I do. You thunder-stealer.”
“Yeah, but I’myourthunder-stealer.”
Judi popped her head in the dining and gave a sharp little bark. I gestured at her. “See, she agrees.”
Alfie directed his glare at her too. “Whatever. She’s dead to me, the way she has totally fallen in love with you. As soon as we get home, it’s like I stop existing.”
I grinned, wondering if he understood what he’d just said.
His hands went to his hips. “What are you grinning at now?”
I held up a finger. “Well, for one, you love me.”
