Goddess, this is so fucking embarrassing.
“And hope the owls don’t eat me,” I mutter under my breath.
The avian shifters in this community all get along, but any regular old owl will still eat my ass if given half a chance. Raptor bastards.
“It’s easier in our shifted form, isn’t it?” he says, moaning in dog.
I look over my shoulder, eyeballing his ears. I should notch the hell out of them for his stupidity.
“You did hear me say I have no control over where my wings take me, right? I am speaking at one of the frequencies dogs can hear, am I not?”
“I am not a dog.”
I spread my feathers, shaking them out. “Could’ve fooled me.”
“I’msorry.”
I glare at him over my shoulder. “Fuck off.”
I adjust my vantage point to watch the sunset, but the feathers at the back of my neck spike up at the sound of his paws on the ground. Peering over the edge of my humble—yet fashionable—abode, I find him walking toward me.
“I will notch your ears, wolf boy,” I caw. “Don’t test me.”
He stops at the base of the tree, looking straight up at me. “If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t realize shifting lessens the physical burden, so I’ve been miserable this entire afternoon. It wasn’t until mywolf took over and shifted for me that I got some relief.”
I let out a disgruntled screech. “Relief. You jackass. Yay, my nuts don’t feel like they’re about to drag to the ground in this form. But the mating instinct won’t let me fly home. I want to sit amongst my shiny things—trinkets that I own, that I bought for myself—and curse the universe for thinking we should be mated. But I can’t even do that, can I? So, you’ll forgive me if I don’t give a shit about your discomfort.”
Thorin walks his paws up the side of the tree. “I was wrong, Poe. Even looking at you now, you are so much more beautiful than that stupid crow. I felt like a loser because she took advantage of how much I loved her. I promised myself no more avian shifters, no more sugar daddy bullshit.”
I hop to a lower branch, eyeing the perfect tips of his hairy ears. “Isthatwhat you think this is? Do you seriously think I’m trying to take advantage of you? I know my shop is humble, but I am making a profit. I live above the store because it’s easy and allows me to reinvest in my business. I don’t need anything from you.” I huff. “Well, save for the one thing.”
Thorin paws at the bark. “Jolly said being mated was the best thing that ever happened to him, and I thought about that a lot as I was writhing in agony today.”
I laugh. “Serves you right.”
He whimpers, and it is the most pathetic sound I’ve ever heard.
Not that I care.
“It did serve me right, Poe. I’ve spent the entire afternoon thinking about how the universe gifted me with a gorgeous mate, someone bright and funny, a perfect counterbalance to my darker impulses. Someone who I doubt has ever tried to take advantage of anyone.”
I shake out my feathers, avian speak forno shit.
“I’m going to need a little time with the love part. I promise, I’m not some heartless bastard. I’m just…” His words trail off as he drops all four paws to the ground again.
When he doesn’t complete the sentence, I hop back to my nest and drop a Q-tip on his head. “You’re justwhat?”
He looks off to the side. “I’m just heartbroken.”
Ah, fuck him. I could have stayed mad at a heartless bastard, but a heartbroken bastard? Talk about unfairly tugging at my emotions.
“So, what? You still love her?”
“No,” he barks, sitting on his haunches. “That died the moment I understood exactly who she was. I’m not heartbroken overher, I’m heartbroken because my dreams about what love could be were smashed to pieces. I’m heartbroken that the city I used to love is now tainted with her memories. I’m heartbroken because I had to move thousands of miles away to get the stink of failure off me.”
Empathy swamps me as I hear the pain in his voice. Goddess, I’m such a pushover.
Fine.
