I blindly reached for the lube, spilling some on the bed as I slathered my fingers. I worked him open, first with one finger and then with two. He helped me to roll on the condom, first lightly slicking my cock the way he liked to do. He’d once admitted that he and Robert had learned that trick from a lover in their pre-Holden days. It supposedly made the condoms less likely to break, but I mostly loved how closely it mimicked the feeling of going bare.
On that thought, I pushed into his tight body, halting midway to avoid embarrassing myself.
After a moment, he brought his knees up, squishing my sides with his surprisingly powerful legs, silently encouraging me to go deeper. Relaxing my weight on top of him, I rolled my hips, loving the muffled groans that I drowned out with more deep, perfect kisses.
Needing to hear him, I released his mouth and dragged my lips up his jaw, then down his neck, pausing to suck at the sensitive spot behind his ear. Impatient, he thrust up, taking as much of me as he could as his moans and whines filled the air.
“Fuck, you’re so thick,” he whispered raggedly into my ear before biting the lobe.
“I appreciate your willingness to accommodate,” I joked, laughing as I sucked a hickey onto his shoulder. I always made sure that my love bites could be hidden by clothing, even if the thought of my mark on his neck made my cock twitch. “I think you like being fucked by a younger man,” I said as I ground into him.
“Love it.”
His breathless words matched his stoned-on-sex expression, and my hips stuttered. He wasn’t saying that he lovedme, I reminded myself. Just that he lovedbeing fucked byme. I rocked my hips as I thrust into him, and his noises pitched up all over again. Around everyone else, he was cool, calm, collected. Elegant. Yet below me, he fell apart, earthy and unrefined.
“Suck,” I demanded, pulling his head to my chest.
He latched on and stayed there, even through my strongest thrusts, letting the movement stretch my nipple. Every time we fucked, I was aware how special it was to have Ren writhing below me, letting me dominate him as he made needy, eager sounds.
It was getting harder not to let my imagination go further in these moments, not to picture what it could be like to wake up with him, or to have sex with him in the morning, or to make him breakfast after a night of fucking-turned-lovemaking.
Of all the things, it was the idea of cooking him breakfast that did me in. I’d be the luckiest guy in the world if I could kiss him in the morning light, then watch him eat the food I made for him. I moaned, and my nuts drew up tight as I imagined reaching across the kitchen table to take his hand.
More damning, I imagined how it might feel to have him say those words. The ones that would previously have terrified me.
I love you, Major. I’ll always love you.
On those imagined, impossible words, an orgasm like a tsunami slammed into me, dragging me from the shore and tossing me back without a second look. With a roar, I spilled into the condom, wishing it were Ren’s body, letting the ecstasy rock me over and over again.
Warm heat slipped between my belly and his, and I opened my eyes to watch him come, so unselfconscious, so undone. I wondered briefly if there was any possibility of my imagined scenarios becoming reality, then shoved those foolish notions to the side.
If me being younger than his son was a mindfuck, I could only imagine what he’d think if he remembered that I’d graduated from high school with his son’s partner.
After a few more lazy thrusts into his body, I pulled away to slip off the condom. After knotting it, I set it to the side. Grabbing a few tissues from the box next to the bed, I wiped down our bellies.
He set his hand over mine as I completed the cleanup. “Don’t rush off yet. Post-sex snuggles would be awesome right about now,” he said, sounding half drunk.
I reminded myself that he was just missing his husband and I provided an approximation of Robert’s physicality. “Consider me your cuddle slut,” I murmured, nuzzling his face.
He grinned and pushed me back on the bed, crawling half over me, then wound his leg around my massive thigh and set the side of his face on my pec. His hot breath stroked the nipples he’d abused, and I hitched, remembering how he’d locked onto my gaze and held the nipple captive, sucking and biting to his heart’s content.
That visual wasn’t quite enough to get me going again, but it did rev up all of those wonderful, ill-advised, yummy post-sex hormones.
I had the fleeting thought that this was a dangerous precedent, but then the adorable sound of Ren’s snores made any concerns vanish into thin air.
It wasn’t even nine o’clock, but I’d had a long day and was feeling super warm and relaxed, so I let myself drop off, securing my hold around him as I lost consciousness.
It was perhaps the best and most idiotic sleep I’d ever have.
CHAPTER 14
ren
I barely slept at all last night. After a brief nap, I’d awakened to find myself clinging to Major like a baby koala, his deep, steady breaths signaling that he was sleeping soundly.
As safe as that should have felt, pain lanced through my chest. The last man I’d woken up next to was Robert, and I’d had no idea that would be the last day I’d have with him.
My initial thought was that Major had stolen one of my last good memories of my husband, that he’d assumed something he shouldn’t have. Fucking hell—we were meant to be fuck buddies, not sleepover buddies, and he knew it.
