That painful feeling in my nose returned, and a single stupid tear tracked its way down my cheek. I couldn’t speak for a few minutes, but Major waited.
Finally, the words came to me. “I do dress casually when I’m home by myself. But living with Hen is so much harder than I thought it would be, and the clothes remind me not to let it get too personal, you know?”
“And why don’t you want it to get too personal?”
“He calls me Agnes,” I said.
Major chuckled. “Yeah, I heard him do it the other day. Pretty funny.”
I blinked, and a few more tears escaped.
“Unless it’s not,” Major said, moving onto the couch next to me. He held out his hand. I grabbed it, and he squeezed my fingers gently.
“It’s another sign that he won’t ever think of me in a romantic way. And I knew if I let him see the less rigid side of me, he’d do that thing he does, and I can’t?—”
“What thing?”
“Thatthing. You know, when he sort of flirts with all of us? It doesn’t mean anything, it’s not serious. He has that smirk, you know?”
Major rubbed his beard. “He’s never flirted with me, intentionally or otherwise. I’ve never been on the receiving end of his smirk, I can tell you that.”
“Oh.” I wasn’t sure what to do with that information. “When I get a smirk from him, it makes my heart and head do very stupidthings. As long as he’s calling me Agnes, though, maybe I can hold on to the last remaining shred of my dignity.”
Major considered my words. Scooting back, he angled himself to face me. “So you’re saying if you allowed yourself to relax around him, if you allowed him to see you, to do whatever this flirty thing is… you’d give in to… what? The temptation to flirt back?”
“I’d have him bent over the couch in two seconds flat,” I admitted far too quickly. “And he’d let me. Just the one time, though.”
“What do you mean? You’d fuck him, and he’d kick you out?”
I lifted a shoulder. “He’d be nicer than that, but basically, yeah, I think that’s exactly what he’d do.”
Major tapped my forehead. “Do you really think he’d throw out the guy who’s taking such good care of him?”
“He fights me at every turn, Major. If he let me stay after that, it would be because I’m the only person available.”
“Portia works from home. And the sheriff’s schedule would no doubt allow him to check in on his son throughout the day. So why is Hen not staying with one of his parents?”
“Who wants their parents to take care of them? Besides, now that they might be getting back together, it’d probably feel pretty weird for him.”
“Okay, that makessomesense. But why aren’t any of us surprised that it ended up with you and him at the cabin?”
“How the hell would I know that?”
“I’ll tell you why. You’re the one who keeps after him the most. If he doesn’t respond in the group chat, you get on him. Every timehe’s in town, you examine him like a mother monkey examining her baby, and you comment when you think he doesn’t look like he’s had enough sleep.”
“Which is why he calls me Agnes.”
“He does, but he still lets you take care of him, doesn’t he?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, then. All I’m saying is… maybe it’s not as hopeless as you think.”
I shook my head. “I can’t afford to think like that. It hurts too much.”
“I understand. But I’m gonna ask you to do me a huge favor.”
“What?”
