With Oz, my brain wasn’t sorting us into boxes, so wanting the comfort of my head on his shoulder wasn’t automatically met with some level of internal judgment. I needed physical reassurance, and there was nothing wrong with that.
Not only was leaning against him the most natural thing in the world, but the comfort of his warm arm was yet another revelation. It wasn’t pressure to do something more. It was just human touch. Sweet and authentic.
By the time Ozzie parked the car, my mind was blown in about seven different ways.
I sat up. “Hey, we’re at your house.”
Ozzie grinned, kissing the side of my head. “Nothing gets past you, does it?”
I elbowed him, feigning a scowl. “Shut up. I’ve just had all the molecules in my brain rearranged. Give me a minute.”
He took my hand, running his thumb over the knuckles as he looked into my eyes. “Are you okay, though? I know that between last night and this morning, it’s been… a lot.”
I shook my head. “I mean, yes, it has. I thought this discord with my parents was a recent thing, you know? But I’ve been twisting myself to fit into their vision for me for years. Forever, really. And I’m no longer willing to live such a constricted life.”
As he got out of the car, I sat there for a minute, cataloging all the rules I’d applied to myself just to make my folks happy. I startled when he opened my door and held out his hand. I took it and let him help me out of the car.
I could exit a vehicle on my own, of course, but this felt special. Having that extra support meant I didn’t get a twinge in my knee. I pressed my head into his shoulder.
“They never helped me out of the car. Even when they first brought me home from rehab after my accident. They just walked into the house and let me figure it out for myself.”
“Why?” Ozzie asked, horrified.
“They thought the struggle was good for me.”
“Sure, sometimes, but you’d just lost your sister and?—”
“No excuses,” I said grimly, remembering my father’s words. “I learned that I didn’t get support or affection. And I internalized that, believed it. I had sweet girlfriends, but I never let them comfort me or try to make me feel better when something went wrong. Hugs were for them, never me.”
“But we, the guys and me, hug you all the time.”
I nodded. “I wasn’t sure what to do the first time y’all hugged me. And then, once I was alone and could let myself process it, I nearly cried.”
He then pulled me into the warmest, most comforting hug I’d ever had. “I’ll always hug you, Walker. Always.”
“Thank you,” I said, inhaling his woodsy, ocean scent.
“I brought you here in case your mom decided to go back to your place, but…”
“I want to be here. With you,” I admitted, snuggling into his warmth.
“Good.”
When the hug reached its natural end, he grabbed my hand, and we walked up the steps to his front porch. As he worked the key into the lock, my phone rang. Bracing myself for a diatribe from either or both of my parents, I checked the screen. It was Dr. Gardner.
Weird. I hit the Accept button.
“Dr. Gardner?” I asked as I followed Ozzie inside. He gestured for me to take a seat and then disappeared down the hall, so I kicked off my shoes.
“Mr. Walker, I hate to have to make this phone call.”
I stopped in front of the couch. “What do you mean?”
“A complaint was made to the school this morning. A very serious complaint.”
“A complaint about me?” I asked, confused. “It’s Sunday.”
Ozzie walked back into the living room, cocking his head, a silent question. I shook mine, not sure what was going on.
