Maybe I’d found some courage alongside my prostate, because I could not keep going like this.
“I’m sorry you feel that way about my career, Momma, but this is my life, and I’m happy with it,” I said, my voice stronger than I’d have expected. “And while I’m grateful for the breakfast, I need you to leave now.”
“You’re kicking me out?” Her eyes widened in surprise.
“No, Momma. I’m asking you to respect my wishes. If I wish to sleep and rest on my day off, that’s not lazy. Everybody needs sleep and rest.”
“Your father and I never rest.”
“That’s a choice you’ve made. It’s not the same choice I’m going to make.”
Drawing herself up, she said the one thing guaranteed to leave a mark. “You know, if your sister were here today, she wouldn’t recognize you. Not one bit.”
Having hit her target, she spun on her heel and walked out the door.
I sank into my chair at the breakfast table, flipping the aluminum-wrapped sandwich in my hand as I dropped my forehead to the wooden surface.
None of that had gone the way I wanted it to. Of course, it could have been worse: had she come into my room—which she’d done before—it would have been more than humiliating. She would have disowned me right then and there.
But bringing Annalee into it like that? Mom had intentionally set out to hurt me, and I had to admit she’d been successful. Only, rather than the guilt she’d intended to engender, my heart was breaking. The dread of impending reality reached down into my soul.
I knew the consequences of telling my parents the truth. They would happily let me lie to them for the rest of their lives, but if I came out, I would be excised from the family, just like an unruly weed in their garden.
And I refused to live a lie.
CHAPTER16
ozzie
I slid Tommy his first beer of the day, happy he’d been cutting back. The past weekend had left me with a lot to think about; I didn’t want to have to go worrying about our regulars, too.
As I got lost in my thoughts for the millionth time, Joel nudged me with his elbow. “Look who’s getting coffee,” he said, nodding to the window.
I followed his line of sight, and my heart started to thump harder. God. Damn. Walker had always been an attractive guy, even when he’d been sporting an unkempt mullet and ratty jeans. Now that he’d heeded my fashion advice—which stroked my ego, hard core—he was drop-dead gorgeous. He was more casual with his school attire during the summer, but his fitted GCHS polo was tucked into dark jeans and set off with a belt and shoes I’d picked out for him, and on his tight body, the effect was mouthwatering.
Ignoring Joel’s commentary, I flipped up the pass-through and made my way out of the bar, settling behind Walker in line at the Seguin Bean ordering counter. He ordered a drip coffee and slid to the side to doctor it.
“Good afternoon, Oz. Want your regular?” Allie asked.
When she said my name, Walker startled, spilling some of the hot coffee on himself.
“Walk, sweetie. Here you go,” Allie said, handing him a wad of napkins. “Do you need some ice? Did you burn yourself?”
He huffed out a laugh and shot me a glance before putting down the cup. “Oh, no. I’m good.”
“Hey, Walker,” I said, trying to keep my voice even. “I don’t usually see you around here in the afternoon.”
He cleared his throat and poured half-and-half into his cup. “Oh, we had an in-service today, and those always let out early. Figured I’d reward myself with some coffee.”
“Not a beer?” I asked, nudging him with my shoulder. He startled again, this time spilling the sugar dispenser that sat on the counter. Allie raised her brows at me, so I sheepishly took a few more napkins and cleaned up the mess.
“I still have some grading to do, and then I’ve got a shift at the tire shop,” he explained as he put a lid on his coffee.
“After working all day?”
He scowled, shaking his head. “I told them not to put me on the schedule after school days, but my mom is mad at me and therefore ignoring my request.”
I gestured to an empty sitting area near the back of the café, and he followed me. My imagination unhelpfully conjured a scenario in which he obediently followed my every direction in bed, but that was not playing it slow. So I shoved that very delicious image to the side as we sat in overstuffed chairs across from each other.
