“Yep,” I said, polishing off my beer.
Major knitted his brows together. “How could he not know he’s queer?”
“When you’re gay, it’s often impossible to stifle your queerness. But when you’re bi or pansexual and you have heavy pressure from your family or your religion to act straight, I can see how you’d learn to put that part of you aside—consciously or not—and focus on the desires that are ‘right.’”
Joel scrunched up his nose. “That sounds fucking diabolical. You can’t split yourself in two like that—that’s not how being into more than one gender works.”
“In theory, sure, but unless you’re James Hendrix Cavanaugh, who was declaring that he was pan before any of us knew what that meant, it happens a lot more than you’d think,” Sawyer said, finishing his second martini. “So maybe don’t assume what people are into.”
I nodded. The others started talking about their coming-out stories, but Sawyer didn’t join in. When they started teasing me about the timeline of my crush on Walker, Sawyer started mixing another drink.
I sidled up next to him at the bar. “Is there something going on, dude?” I whispered.
“No, why?”
“Because a, I’ve never seen you drink like this, and b, you’ve completely shut down. Do you…?”
I paused when Major joined us. He lifted his chin at me, questioning. I knew he and Sawyer were super close, so maybe…
“Do you have feelings for Walker?” I finally asked.
Sawyer and Major shared a look.
“No,” Sawyer said, his voice flat.
“Then do you want to tell me what’s going on?”
“Not particularly.”
“Did I do something wrong?”
“No, you didn’t,” he said, taking a long pull from his martini. “This is my bullshit. Not about you at all. Promise.”
“We’ve spent enough time on my Walker situation. Maybe it’s time for you to talk.”
Sawyer and Major exchanged another glance as Beckett and Joel, apparently noticing something was up, came over to the bar as well.
Joel gave Major and Sawyer a long look. “Whoa. Are you two fucking?”
Beckett shook his head.
“What do you know about that?” I asked out of the side of my mouth.
“Nothing,” he said. “Practically nothing at all.”
Only… now Beckett, Major,andSawyer were exchanging glances.
“Is anybody gonna tell me what’s going on?” I asked, confused as hell. “Are Sawyer and Major fucking?”
Sawyer and Major both shook their heads, and Sawyer, swaying with an empty martini glass in his hand, went in. “The big guy and I used to fuck in high school, but it wasn’t serious.”
Joel and I shared wide-eyed looks, while Beckett was unsurprised.
“I told you I’d be your boyfriend…” Major said, laughing.
Sawyer stared glumly at his glass. “And we both know why that wouldn’t work.”
Major’s smile was warm. “That’s right, we do.”
