He grins. “I’m happy for you, cousin.” He looks down, tracing his fingers along the table’s wood grain. “I’m a little jealous, to be honest.”
I reach out and grab his hand. “You are such an amazing man. You’ve been through a lot too. I know there’s someone out there who is just perfect for you.”
“From your lips to God’s ears,” he says, grinning. I’m surprised at the sadness behind his eyes and realize I might not understand how lonely he feels.
My thoughts are interrupted by a knock at the door, and when I open it, a grin splits my face.
“Hedy!” I shout, giving her a huge hug.
I step back and let her and Edison, her grumpy redhead, into the living room.
“What brings you here?”
“I wanted to check in on you. Maybe we can go for a walk together?”
I nod, and Edison speaks up, “I’m here to discuss what your family wants to do next. We would recommend they not go back to Mexico since we can’t provide the same level of protection there. Obviously, it’s up to them, but…”
Yaya and Emil walk up with Gael.
“I just want my family to be safe,” Yaya says, reaching for me. “When they took our Ant again, it was even worse than the first time. Whatever we can do to protect the family, we will do.”
“Good, good. I have a few things to discuss since we need to get your paperwork in order.”
They meet back at the table with my grandparents, and I’m a little surprised to hear perfect Spanish come from Edison’s lips.
Hedy, whose mom is Mexican American, shakes her head. “I swear he was a Spanish noble in a previous life. It’s embarrassing how much better his Spanish is than mine.”
“Fuck, it’s better than mine.” I laugh.
She holds out her arm, and I link mine with hers.
We step outside and walk in silence as we make our way to the barn, which is still mostly empty. Bram and Levy are in their offices preparing for the day, and while they both wave in our direction, they’re also allowing Hedy and me room to talk.
Lyle Underwood is taking Sparkle for a walk around the training area.
“Damn, I’ve missed being around the horses,” I admit, walking up and giving Sparkle’s nose a rub. “Do you mind if I take over from here?” I ask Lyle.
“Not at all. I’ll go clean out his stall while you hang with him.”
We exchange high fives, and I walk around the training space with Hedy at my side. Not sure why, but something about walking with the horse lets me speak more freely.
“I don’t want to do this anymore,” I state quietly.
Hedy pauses, looking me in the eyes. “Yeah?”
I shake my head. “I had a hard time with the planned kills. It should’ve been easier.”
“Why? Why should it have been easier?”
“Because I’m like Hopper and Anders, and it’s easy for them.”
She tilts her head from side to side. “What if you’re not exactly like Hopper or Anders? What if you’re just Ant?”
I tense my jaw, not sure how I feel about that. “Then I don’t know who Ant is,” I admit, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Then that’s a good place to start, don’t you think?”
I shake my head. “I have no idea…of anything, really.”
