Ant snarls at the characterization, and Javier turns to face me. “Why is that so wrong? I spent ten years of my life looking for him, and I am happy to spend the rest of it hunting down the men who hurt him.”
Ant vehemently shakes his head. “Tío, you’ve already done too much for me. This would hurt you too much.”
“Nephew, there is never too much. I would sacrifice my life for you.”
Ant gets up and kisses Javier’s forehead. “You’ve begun something beautiful here with Levy. I won’t let you sacrifice your happiness. You can help me with the assholes in Mexico, but I’m putting my foot down for the rest. You stay here and let Levy love on you.”
“For once, I agree with Ant,” I say as gently as possible. “This works better when you can be dispassionate. Cold. When you can kill without remorse.”
Ant plops back into his chair—which practically swallows him—and raises his hand. “Oh! You mean like me?”
I wrinkle my nose. “Youcannot go after your rapists. We’ll send Anders and Hopper.”
“You do know that Hedy signed off on this, right?”
I roll my eyes. “Maybe that would mean something if she weren’t also Anders’ therapist. Or if she hadn’t recruited him and Odd into whatever insanity they have going on in Wimberley.”
That’s a different argument for a different day.
Ant’s small hands ball into tiny fists. “You don’t have to like it, Erik. Or even respect it. But if anyone should get to kill those johns, it’s me. Do you know why Anders gave me their information?”
“Because my cousin wants me to put my foot up his ass?” I spit out.
Why is everyone so determined to put Ant directly in the path of danger?
I swear, one of these days, I’m going to wrap him in bubble wrap and guard him like Heimdall guards the rainbow bridge. Smokey nips at my hand, and I go back to petting her.
“Because he knows this is important to me,” Ant explains. He’d almost sound reasonable if we weren’t talking about a fucking murder list of all the men who—
I can’t even think about all the things they did to him.
Ant gestures to the disgruntled snarl on my face and continues, “It’s important for my recovery. It’s important for my development as a member of his team. I’ll work around whatever missions we have to go on. I’ll do it on my own time. I’ll bring help when it makes sense to bring help.”
“You are not going to kill those rapist motherfuckers all by yourself. That is fucking ridiculous.”
Ant blinks at me and Moose lets out a low woof.
The traitor.
“Language,” Charlie warns under his breath.
I turn to him, incredulous. “What do you mean,language? It’s not like I called him a kid.”
I used to do that until my Aunt Anja ripped me a new one. I’ve even stopped calling Ant a kid in my head, which I think is progress.
It’s also a little hard to keep doing when he wakes up with scruff on his face. He’s usually fully dressed in the main areas of the house, but I’ve swum with him in the creek behind Javier and Levy’s house. He’s even got a little chest hair.
Not to mention the light fur between the deep Venus dimples above his tiny, round backside, which have somehow made it into my dreams. Shameful fantasies, really, in which I imagine my thumbs settling into those sweet dimples as I grip his hips and…
Definitelynot a kid.
Not the point, Bash.
“You don’t get credit for not calling me a kid when I’m old enough to buy my own beer,” Ant points out, bringing me back to reality.
“Sure, fine, but you barely come up to my nipples.”
His mouth drops open. “I’m almost at your shoulder!”
