“Remind you of anyone?” I ask, nudging Ant as he watches them dote on her.
He looks up at me, surprising me with tears in his eyes as he nods.
“Anja and Georg.” He watches them for a few more seconds, then continues, “The level of kindness, love, and support your aunt and uncle gave me at the beginning… I can’t explain how far that went toward helping me trust again. To see how my family is capable of the same love and affection is bittersweet. I don’t know if that makes any sense.”
“It makes sense to me. I have parents who are completely incapable of this level of kindness. Your mom, your aunt and uncle, your grandparents, on the other hand… They’ve always been overflowing with it. That’s what was taken from you. So it’s sweet to see but bitter to fully understand.”
He nods, wrapping his arm around my waist, tilting his head against my chest. “But mostly sweet.”
A few minutes later, Bram lays out the last of his famous roast chickens and asks us to gather around the table.
“Now that the sun has gone down and the work is done, we welcome a day of rest and the chance to appreciate all the good things of this week,” he says, taking Nacho’s hand.
Nacho turns to Ginger, Beckett, and Ant’s family and explains, “We go around the table and say one good thing that’s happened this week, one thing we appreciate, and one thing we are leaving behind. You don’t have to participate if you don’t want to.”
I’m betting he meant for Ginger to go last so she could opt out if she wanted to, but she surprises us by going first.
“My good thing is that Beckett has helped me to see a way forward to a better life than I could have ever imagined for myself,” she says, gripping Beckett’s hand. “I appreciate that Charlie and Erik listened to a crazy, strung-out girl to rescue my sweet Ant,” she says, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “And…”—she stops to wipe her tears—“I am leaving behind the belief that I can’t make a difference. It’s not true, and I don’t want to believe that anymore.”
Abuela and Yaya, standing on either side of her, cross themselves and put their hands on her shoulders. There aren’t any dry eyes around the table.
After taking a few moments to compose ourselves, we continue around the table. Unsurprisingly, it’s a particularly poignant evening of gratitude, save for Beckett’s leave-behind: his parish, due to an unfortunate incident involving him, the church maintenance man, and a confessional.
Abuela shakes her head, mutteringqué bárbaroto herselfwhile the rest of us howl with laughter. Beckett apologizes to her in Spanish while Ginger explains to the rest of us that the church asked him to continue volunteering at the group home since the teenagers felt safest with him.
Ant grins up at me when it’s his turn. “My good thing is I finally got this fucking Nordic tree to admit he loves me.”
“Ant, language,” Abuela chides, elbowing him.
He kisses her cheek. “I’m grateful for family, including the ones who stood up for me when they didn’t have to,” he says, kissing Ginger’s temple.
“More importantly, I’m leaving behind vengeance. I don’t want to live to make other people pay.” After Gael’s attack, the abuelos know a little more than they did before, but we still try to be somewhat circumspect with the gorier details.
“Seems like a waste of a perfectly good life,” Javier says, his eyes shiny.
Finally, it’s my turn. “My good thing is this tiny Mexican shrub right here,” I say, dodging him when he tries to smack my ass. “I appreciate the friends who helped us find him,” I say, reaching out to kiss Ginger’s hand, “and I’m leaving behind…”
I pause to think about it, then smile at Ant.
“…the thought that he’s anything less than a man who has put his life back together brick by fucking brick.”
“Language, mijo!” Abuela says, smacking me.
Language, my son.
I pull her into a hug, and she squeezes me hard. “We are so blessed to have you in our lives. Thank you, mijo, for helping him to come back to us.”
By the time we sit, I’ve wrangled my emotions. Ant pulls his chair close to me and leans his head on my shoulder. Gael scoots in close to Ginger, holding her hand as tears stream down his face. We’re all quiet but so grateful as Bram begins serving the food.
He’s just about done when there’s a knock at the door. I do a quick scan of the table, looking to see if anyone is missing. Puzzled, I go to open the door and am surprised by my best friend.
“Charlie! I thought you were…”
“Tolly!” Ant yells and hops up from the table.
Charlie and Justin make their way in as Ant, Tolly, and I exchange hugs.
“Sorry for interrupting dinner, old chap. Thought I’d pop up for a quick visit, see for myself you were in one piece, give you an update on the kids, that sort of thing.”
