“Yeah?”
“I love that about you. My favorite thing about you is how you own your desires, and I want so much to help you fulfill them. I want to see you relax under my care in the same way you make me relax with your affections.”
He tightens his hold on me, and we stand under the water until it goes cold. After toweling off, we walk inside, spending the rest of the day naked in bed, whispering the things we love about each other, then showing each other what we mean over and over again.
The insistent drumbeat of the real world is right outside our windows, but for today, we choose to ignore it.
15
LEVY
It’s Friday evening, and this is the first time all week I’ve been to the bunkhouse, save for packing a quick bag. After taking off the first part of the week, I’ve had a packed schedule through today.
Javier’s been taking long drives with Ant and helping him with the horses. Ant’s been riding Domino around his paddock for a few days now, and Javier could not be prouder.
At the end of the day, we wait for each other to finish, then drive together back home. Even though it’s only been a few days, it feels like this little tradition. After making it down the long, winding driveway, passing through the tree line feels like passing through a portal into a distant land known only to Javier and me.
I haven’t talked to Bram about where Javier and I are at. He’s never been judgmental of my choices and will only give his opinion if he thinks I need to hear it. On this, however, he’s been surprisingly quiet.
I think he’s giving me space. My guess is he sees something special happening between Javier and me, and he doesn’t want to interfere.
After work, Javier and I use the outdoor shower as we have all week. The way we get both clean and dirty at the same time is everything.
We show up a little early for Friday dinner because the Bashes are joining us, and we want to help get the house in order. Javier’s adorably nervous about meeting the people who made Ant feel safe. Before they get here, though, I need to talk to Ant and my brother.
Bram and Nacho, however, are conspicuously absent when Ant tentatively comes up to us. “So…you two are getting pretty serious, huh?” he asks, his eyes falling to Javier’s arm around my waist.
I hadn’t even thought about it because he’s always touching me.
Grimacing, I reach out to fluff the pillows on the couch. Javier is smiling, but I’m worried I should’ve talked to Ant way before today. Rather than insulting his intelligence, I simply nod and go with the truth. “He’s a special guy.”
Ant nods, patting his uncle’s arm. “I’ve enjoyed spending this week with him. It’s been nice to work on the horses together.”
Javier shrugs. “I spent ten years trying to find you. Of course I’m going to help you with the horses.”
“He would literally do anything to make sure you’re okay. That includes stepping away from this if it bothers you,” I say, wanting to make sure he understands we’re not ignoring his feelings on the matter.
Ant and Javier roll their eyes at my concern, and Ant shakes his head. “You two getting together is the last thing that would bother me. It would bother me if you felt weird about seeing him because of me. You’ve done so much to help me feel normal, and he’s done so much to find me…I didn’t realize I could be this happy for somebody else.”
I’m relieved, of course, but that’s an interesting thing to say, so I lean into it.
“Has that been difficult for you in the past? Being happy for other people?”
He nods. “Somebody doing well while I was suffering always felt like a kick in the stomach. However, the luckier I feel, the more I want good for other people too.”
I pull him into a hug, and he wraps his arms around me. He truly is the little brother Bram and I never had.
Just as Bram and Nacho reappear, smiling at Javier and me, the doorbell goes off. Bram gives me awe’ll talk laterlook, and Nacho makes a filthy gesture with his fist and tongue. I shoot him the finger, and we share a chuckle.
Meanwhile, a huge smile takes over Ant’s face, and he bounds to the door. Swinging it wide, he throws himself at Papa Bash before giving Mama Bash a slightly less effusive but no less meaningful hug. Their bright faces, so full of love for Ant, hit me in the chest. I look over at Javier, and he’s watching them as he rubs his chest, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
Once Ant and the Bashes have finished greeting each other, Javier walks up to them, ducking his head.
“You are the ones who gave him a place to be, a place to recover. Thank you. Thank you so much,” he says, his eyes gone shiny. They step into his embrace, and he pulls them close for several moments.
Ant looks over at me, and I tap my chest. “You’re worth it, kid.”
He grumbles at being called a kid but comes back over and gives me a side hug as we watch Javier and the Bashes get to know each other.
