Ant nods and takes a deep breath. He rubs his chest as he blinks away tears, as if relieved to know the extent Charlie is willing to go to save people in his exact previous situation. Even Erik, who’s been annoyed this entire conversation, sees his reaction and stands down.
“Ant,” he says, gentling his voice. “We saved an entire warehouse full of people, which should’ve been enough for anyone. But one person came forward with your name and the vaguest description of where you might be. Charlie and I immediately got in the truck and tracked you down because leaving you behind would have never been acceptable to either of us, okay? We will never notdosomething.”
“Then why won’t you let me help?” he asks, pain visible in his eyes.
“Because we don’t want you to get hurt!” Erik nearly shouts, throwing his hands up. “It would devastate us to rescue you from those fucking bastards only to lose you to them again. Don’t you get that?”
Ant is a small man, but the weight of his experience is enormous. Not being able to help other people going through the same thing…I understand the frustration.
“But I’ve been where they’ve been, Erik.”
“Do you have psychological training?”
“No.”
“Do you have defensive training?”
“I’ve taken Bram and Levy’s classes.”
“Do you have conflict resolution and de-escalation training?”
“No, but neither does Nacho, and you used him.”
“That was an emergency, Ant,” Erik spits out, frustrated. “Nacho is not doing exfil. What we did for you? That was an exfil operation, and he’s never gonna be anywhere near that kind of action.”
Charlie continues, “We may need Nacho for backup translation and to help people feel safe, but it will only ever be done from a distance.”
“I can do translation,” he says, stamping his feet.
“Cálmate, hermano,” I whisper.Brother, calm yourself.
Ant fists his hands but steps back.
Charlie is patient with his explanation. “Look, we got to see Nacho handle an incredibly difficult translation in the middle of an op. Doesn’t mean you can’t do it. It’s just that, with this, I need to go with somebody I’ve already seen in action. You say you want to help, so I need to think through how you can help. You and I will have a conversation. I promise.”
Erik gets a notification on his phone, which he reads, his shoulders tensing.
Ant grinds his jaw. “Fine. I still don’t understand why I can’t at least finish the fencing job.”
Justin and Charlie exchange a worried glance, then Charlie turns to Erik. “What’s going on?”
“Missing hiker around Enchanted Rock. Diabetic, insulin reliant. He was hiking by himself. Wife says he missed the check-in time twice now. They’ve done an initial scan of the walking paths but haven’t seen anything. County’s asking if we can bring in Moose to track him.”
Charlie rubs his forehead. “Okay, fine. We need to split this up. I can’t let the hiker stay out in the elements if he’s going through diabetic shock or whatever, and we need to move quickly on this thing with the property next door. Erik, can you handle that while we take care of surveillance?”
“Sure. I’ll grab Moose right now.”
Bram, who’s been silent this whole time, speaks up, “Charlie, if you’re serious about letting Ant help where he can, maybe he can go with Erik.” Turning to Ant directly, he asks, “Would you like to go with him? You’ll genuinely be helpful, but in a way that feels safe for everyone.”
“I can see what you’re doing,” Ant says, rubbing his arms. “Trying to give me the scraps while you do the real work.”
“I don’t do scrap work,” Erik grouses. “Saving a hiker is really fucking important. Besides, you’ve done excellent work with the horses, and we don’t have a lot of time. It would help to have another set of eyes up on horseback.”
Erik’s praise seems to have a spell-like quality on Ant’s entire attitude. Every bit of fight leaves his body, and he pulls his ponytail forward, playing with the hair.
“Okay. I guess.” He shifts on his feet.
Erik pats his head. “See? You’re helping.”
